Dijon!!! And the last stretch...

Yaaaaay Dijon :) such a pretty place! Another city in France that is actually a city and not a fake one that can barely even pass for a large town (like Clermont). I am a fan.

I'm not long back from Dijon and, I have to say, it's no wonder Katie's had such a fantastic year! Spent a truely terriying amount of de monies on train tickets to visit Katerina(minina) this weekend and it was so nice! Nice 1) To see Katie as she's pissing off to work in the middle of nowhere in the Ardèche until September, 2) To meet her friend Siobhan from Brizzle and 3) To finally see this lovely place!

On Friday, we had lunch in a wee park next to Katie's appartment (which is also naize), then got ready and did the walk from her place to her school, which was cool as I got my first glimpse of town and of Katie's LIFE as it has been for the past 7 months. Got to see her school and the staffroom (which was huge! And they have bigger pigeon holes than us... Whatever...) and we met one of the really nice English teachers who drove us back to her's to chill for a bit. She was so nice! And her appartment was epic, was up a hill so you could see all of Dijon! Lavly! Why couldn't the English staff at my lycée have been as nice and appreciative as those in Katie's lycée?!!

Then she drove us to Katie's résponsable's appartment (which was truely amazing, I need to add) for apéros with all of the English teachers from Katie's lycée. It was so nice! They were soooo nice! I had my first Kir which is a very Dijonaise drink made with white wine and cassis liquor. Hell yeah. Had one glass and immediately felt as if I'd had 3. I am also a fan of this drink.

'So, have you had a good year as an assistant, too?' They asked. Uhhhhhhhhmmmmm................. I like the assistant bit?! Didn't really know what else to say haha. At first they seemed a bit like '... Alright then' when I wasn't immediately spewing out all the 'IT WAS AMAZING's they were clearly expecting to hear, however, when they found out I'd been placed in Clermont-Ferrand this year, there was a collective 'ohhhhh' of understanding from the women. They were also very understanding and sympathetic when I told them I actually teach in Thiers and had to live there for the first month. One of them described it as 'bleak'. Yeaahhh, that's one way of putting it :p It was nice to, again, be reminded that it's not just me! Clermont is shit!

Later on, after we left the teachers, we went to a wee flat part in Dijon and then to a bar in town. It was quite sad to see all of the assistants shaking their heads and saying repeatedly 'I can't believe it's all over!' but nice because they've obviously all had a lovely year in that lovely, lovely place! Also, another Thiers connection! Got speaking to one of the other Dijon assistants who was like 'oohh yeaaahh Clermont-Ferrand hmmm... Bit crap, my parents have a holiday home literally in the middle of nowhere kinda near there'. She proceeded to talk about how horrible and isolated this place is. 'The house is next to this tiny shit town called Thiers'. Yep. Great. Hahahahahaha! It is INFAMOUS for being grim and awful! IT'S DEFINITELY NOT JUST ME!!!!!!!!!!

The next day, with Thiers firmly out of my mind, we went on the owl tour of Dijon :):):) yessss. The little owl - la chouette - is the symbol of Dijon and it's sooooooo cute (fittingly, 'chouette' also means cute/sweet/great etc). There are little gold chouettes all over the pavement in Dijon which lead you to most of the things you must see while you're there! It also leads you to THE OWL, a small owl which has been engraved into the side of Notre Dame (one of the three cathedrals) that you touch with your left hand and make a wish - it's lucky! So cute!



Ahhh I can't even begin to describe how cool the whole place was! Definitely going back there when I'm rich for shopping - it's a VERY middle class place btw... Which means the shopping is excellent!!! Also bumped into the assistant from Katie's school last year who is back every other weekend because her boyfriend plays rugby for Dijon. So met one of the Dijon rugby players as well. Couldn't tell you who. Dijon aren't as good as ASM nerr :p haha!

Not much to report from Clermont end of things, tbh! Had a bit of an awkward goodbye with my résponsable haha! Not sure if it was goodbye, she said something about us meeting up in the holiday when her and the other teachers are back from England (where they're going this week). I wrote them all thank you letters that I didn't really mean :s sounds bad, but it's the truth. 'Thank you for everything you've done for me this year... Like take advantage and be a dick rather than thanking me.' 'Thank you for all your support this year... Especially the time where you berated me/completely took the piss in front of all of the other teachers at lunch and, once again, made me feel like shit'. Yeah... Haha. One of the English teachers (after having received my nice note) completely blanked me in the corridor as he walked past. Bye, then? Have a nice life! And another locked his classroom door, looking longingly down the corridor with a ridiculously emotional half-smile on his face, whipped his hair back (and forth) and strolled off, slowly, in the other direction with his long vampire coat flowing behind him, looking back occasionally at an awkward Lauryn (who was in fact waiting there for something and couldn't very well walk the other way!) like we were in a bloody movie or something.

Actual weirdos. Like... Oh my Christ. I don't think I will EVER get over how weird this year has been and how weird the people in it were. Bloody hell. I also wrote their notes in English because I couldn't be bothered to try and fake sincerity in another language. However, I will be writing heart-felt letters of thanks in French to the Proviseur (headmaster), Nataša (a French teacher who gives me a lift on Monday mornings) and one of the Pierres (an ICT teacher who is obsessed with Canada) for being so genuinely lovely. They are nice. The rest of the staff can do one. :):):)

Oh and Deji's back! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!
Lauryn <3 Rachael.
That's big Clermont news!

Anyshits thank you very much to Katie for such a lovely weekend à Dijon!

Ca fait longtemps!

Sorry doodles, just been too lazy to write, as of late! Something that you should know is that the weather has been amaazzee!! Last Saturday = 28 degrees. Believe. And the French were STILL walking around in jeans, boots, coats etc... Ok, Frenchies, you've proved your point that it gets hotter in France. Now REMOVE that RIDICULOUS attire because you're making me feel ill!!!

Last Thursday, we had a Jersey Shore themed birthday party for Dej (best night of her life, if the constant speeches about how happy she was to be there are anything to go by!) which got sehr messy. OH YEAH, WAKE UP YEAH iiiiiit's teeeee-shiiiiiiirt tiiiiiiiiiiiiime!

Last Saturday, still in the Jersey mood, I accidently woke up at round 9.40am. I was gonna roll over and go back to sleep for a wee while... But then I saw the sunlight STREAMING through my shutter and I remembered that it was soleil day à Clermont!!!! I LEAPT out of bed, opened all doors, window, shutter and started blasting out this badboy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSYViclto1w

One of my neighbours was banging on my wall because yeah fair play it was a bit early on a Saturday but I was just like YEAH and turned it up (muhaha but only because she's the annoying let's move furniture around REALLY LOUDLY at 3.30am when I'm up at 6 girl) and continued dancing/jumping/fistpumping (on my own) in my room. An EXCELLENT start to an EXCELLENT day!

School's goin alreet, trying to work out how to attach speakers to the new projector in my room so we can just watch films next week... And the week after, but sadly the tech guy just won't get back to me, so I'm afraid that might not happen!

Ummm... Ahhhh saw 'True Grit' in the wee old cinema Les Ambiences, which still has all the old equipment in tact and in use!



It was alright, except for this totally uneccessary snake scene that Deji forgot to tell me about until like 15 minutes before it happened. Properly nearly shat myself and it was worse than usual cos this girl actually got bitten. And it was so pointless yeah it had NOTHING to do with the film, this retard just fell down a hole and started poking a corpse then loads of snakes came out and it was disgusting and horrible and completely uncalled for :'( What the HELL does that have to do with her avenging her father's death? Is it some shit metaphor for something that I don't get?! ...... I am not ashamed to say that I have a full blown phobia of snakes which just goes BEYOND anything, so obviously that didn't go down amazingly well. Also, couldn't understand a WORD that Jeff Bridges said throughout the ENTIRE thing so, embarrassingly, ended up just reading the subtitles (in French) which was long.

But, yeah, apart from that the film was alright :p

Also, started discussing different accents with one class this week and established that they DO have strange ways of speaking here (especially in Thiers). Like... They don't pronounce du lait (milk) or rose (pink) correctly. Idiots. And EVERYTHING HAS A 'Y' IN IT! For non-French speakers, the letter 'y' in French is pronounced like our 'ee' sound but a bit higher and closed. But, like... Everything is taken over by 'y'. For example, 'il y a' (there is/are) becomes 'eeeeya'.

'Excuse me?' 'Eeeeeya un prof qui...' 'It has a teacher who.....?' 'Non, eeeeeya un prof' 'Il a un prof?' 'NON (mon dieu) Madame écoutez: eeeeeeeeeeeeya' 'PARDON?' 'EEEEEEEEEEYA!' ... Needless to say, we had a few difficulties at the beginning! Here are some useful translations, should you ever find yourself in a fieldy place in central France:

Eeeeyé - il est - he/it is
Eeeeya - il a - he/it has
Eeeeeeeeeeya - il y a - there is/are
Eeeeeeeeeeyavé - il y avait (yes, they also pronounce all 'è' 'ê' 'ai' 'ait' like 'é', which is even worse haha) - there was/were

Love to all, sorry about the snake rant (I'm not really that sorry) see you very soon! xxxxx

Part 2 which is better than Part 1 :)

Sorry this is a bit out of order, now. I will do two parts so it makes more sense: before Shit Tuesday and after Shit Tuesday.

The week before Shit Tuesday: 
On Wednesday, Jemima and I had lunch and then went on an impromptu TRAM TRIP (yaaaay thiiiis isss your liiiiiiiiiiiiife...) to Montferrand, which is on the outskirts of the city. Once again, I say 'outskirts', but you can walk there in half an hour. The whole city is an outskirt! It's very nice though! Full of original 16th century architecture - homes and small cafés etc. that are still in use; really sweet little place. We have decided to make it our exciting Wednesday activity (so, we'll just be going to Montferrand and, err... Yeah going to Montferrand). We had coffee in a small café/bar that contains a really cute, old, bar lady. She sat us at a nice, flowery table and spoke to us about flower attacks. Now, I bloody LOVE old people as it is (yes, I am one of those people), and she was SO CUTE that when I walked, in her plain sight, to the toilet and, only once I'd reached it, realised it was a hole in the floor (how I didn't see that one coming I will never know), I didn't have the heart to patently sit back down :( damnit cute old people! We left shortly after the first flash of lightening that evening and narrowly avoided getting caught out in the wee thunder storm/the apocalypse for too long.

Thursday was Paddy's Day, which meant that the French were being extra sarcastic and the bar prices were whacked right up. But it was a cracker of a night, as expected. So: by 9pm, I had drunk called my nan, by 9.30pm Laura and I had had to take Jemima home and put her to bed (standard), think we were back by 10ish then maybe we left at 10.30 or something but I have only dark, vague, short flashbacks of that night. So I can only assume that it was marvellous.

On Friday, I laid down on some grass with Jemima for about 20 minutes before we decided that it was all a bit too much and went home.

On Saturday, I decided that it was probably time to unpack and investigate the damage from Thursday night. Christ only knows what I did to my poor studio... In the evening we all watched the England Ireland game and stayed a bit after to catch up with the Frenchies. That night, a surprise bday shabang had been planned for Niamh, it was all sehr exciting. Armed with the keys to Sean and Niamh's, we all waited, establishing fully that it is more or less impossible for a room of people in their early twenties to sit quietly for more than 10 seconds. But she was surprised! Job done. Most of us took off early that night because we fail. As Mike put it when 'MCing' on the way home "I fail... Bmbmchhhh... Because I drink ale..." Lyrical genius from the endz.

Sunday is a true day of cotch in France, so I did my nails, read some shiiiit and saw Mike (she featured heavily in my life that week) and Pauline in the evening.

So that was my rather uneventful week! I did speak to my favourite ginger on the phone though, which gave me hope!

After Shit Tuesday:
The Wednesday was sunny as shyeeet! So Mike, Deji and I went to 1er mai which is a 'park' near to Montferrand, where we cotched on some sunny patches, witnessed dog abuse and Deji read me a massive Vogue article about Kate Winslet (her Highland tones get me hotttt).

Thursday was a lovely day with my lovely classes!

On Friday the weather was amazeee, so Mike, Deji and I (Team Win) mounted Montjuzet to lay in de sunshine again, listening to music, ignoring creepy French men and looking out over the city from our GREAT HEIGHT. Here is a photo I took on my crackberry from Montjuzet (I was too lazy to stand up so, sadly, you don't get the full effect but my intentions were good).



Alors, je m'en vais girlfrieeeend. Tschüss!!

Part 1 of 2 : The AWFUL DAY OF HATRED ! (Part 2 wil be about nice things !)

Shit Tuesday (this week) was horrendous. Note in my pigeon hole from deputy head -> ‘Je vous invite à passer à mon bureau pour faire le point sur votre intervention dans notre établissement.’ Votre intervention dans notre établissement. Charming. Here’s how that went…

"Come in, sit down, right…" Then proceeds a bollocking for my absence last Thursday which, of course, I take full responsability for. However, I was in more trouble than I should have been as la vie scolaire neglected to pass on my message. To anyone.

Secondly, there came another bollocking, this time about registers.

1.       I have been told by numerous teachers not to bother, as they take the registers (on the computer) themselves.

2.       If this is such a problem, why are you only just telling me now – a month before my contract ends?

But, of course, I was very sorry, I understood the importance of taking the register, I will do that from now on, sorry , sorry, sorry…

Thirdly – there’s a thirdly? What the hell have I done now?

"Some pupils have said that they don't like your lessons, that they don't learn anything." The fuck?

"Which pupils?" "I don't know the names." "From which class?" "I'm not sure." "What exactly did they say?" "I don't know, I didn't make a note of these things." Well, thank you very much. How incredibly helpful of you.

"So..?" "So..?" "What do you think?" "*Stumbling on words* I don't know, I thought that my lessons had been going well". "Who plans your lessons?" "Me!" Who else?! "Ok... Do you prepare them well?" "Yes, and I thought that they worked, but obviously not..."

We went on like this for a while before he played the "Ok, I asked you, you told me, I listened, you listened, I believe you" card. Here is why I was SO upset by this (more lists ha):

1.       I know full well which pupils said this and they are just… Argh!!!

2.       Out of respect for and like of my pupils, I can safely say that I have gone above and beyond for them this year : I mark assignments for them, given to me by a lazy English teacher (not supposed to do that) ; I occasionally take whole classes (not supposed to do that) ; I do exam prep (hmm) ; I do the odd bit of grammar etc (not supposed to do that). But I do it all anyway! And, up until now, I was more than happy to!

3.       I’ve always received really good feedback from teachers and pupils, so this came completely out of the blue for me – today, for example. This morning, my pupils asked me if I plan my lessons. I was like…. Shit, was it them ?! So I said yes and they said ‘ahhh they’re really good !’ I was very flattered, especially after Tuesday , and mentioned that I thought there were some pupils who didn’t like them. One girl goes (in English) "some pupils are stupid alors". And had two more brilliant classes to round the day off nicely. At the end of my last lesson, I asked one pupil how she found it (too easy? Too hard? Crap?! I’m so paranoid now!) and she said it was just right and that the others think I’m "cool" and that they were fighting over who got to be in my group today. I know this sounds completely like I’m bragging, but what I’m actually trying to say is… Fuck you, deputy head. Twice.

Unfortunately, he didn't stop there. He told me "your French isn't very good, is it?" and "It's hard to talk to you because you don't really understand French". Bearing in mind you're making me incredibly upset and nervous. My French is not perfect, obviously, and, aside from the fact that this entire meeting has been conducted in French, with you occasionally and patronisingly trying to translate, into incomprehensible 'English', things that I have understood perfectly... Aside from that, dude, when do I ever see you? When do we ever speak? How on earth would you know, generally, what my level of French is like? Then he asks if I think that my French has improved since I arrived here. I anser 'yes'. He smirks. I explain that I understand a lot more than I speak and that I think it's just a question of confidence. For example, I have French friends here who I can talk to perfectly normally, (and obviously BRILLIANTLY when we've all had a few drinks :p didn't explain that bit) but that I still sometimes get nervous around some of the teachers (because they're all so very, very cliquey and intimidating, frankly! - didn't mention that.). No offense meant, but apparently some was taken. "Oh. Is this ALL of the teachers or just SOME of the teachers or what?" He demands. Pricks like you, par exemple, monsieur. "No, just some of the teachers but I can't explain why." "Who? Which teachers?" FFS. I name a few that I feel comfortable talking to. He asks me about 3 more times to explain what I mean by 'a question of confidence'. Pretty self-explanatory, I would have thought.

I was in his office for about 20 minutes while he went over and over everything we'd already discussed. Over and over. What else could I say?! I can recall only one other time, in recent years, where I was face-to-face with someone and actually fighting back tears. I won't lie, when I got back to my classroom, I actually sobbed lol bit embarrassing! But I get so many snide remarks from this English teacher, anyway, who will only speak to me in English, who IGNORES me when I ask him to say it in French/tell him that I can understand/read/I'm not fucckkkiinnggg stupid, and actually TELLS other teachers, in front of me, that I can't speak/understand any French. I think I cried because it was the final knock to my confidence that I could take at that moment, basically. THE FRENCH BROKE ME, bitches (but only for a day and night)! And, unfotunately, I did take the pupil comment to heart at the time.

Now, I'm just angry and thinking 'how dare he?' Today, I came to school with my head held high (as Mike and co. encouraged me to - thank you SO much, again, for your support dudes!) and have been chatting to my pupils in French all day, which I don't usually do seeing as THAT ISN'T MY JOB, just to prove a point, really. And I was told in my middle class "vous parlez bien le français, Madame." So I hope that gets back to this idiot. I want to write him a letter when I leave. Not a rude one, just one that explains a bit more about my 'intervention' in his establishment. Just so he knows.

Finally, I think I may also have to subtly reiterate my role, here, to the class that I'm certain I know went to the deputy head: However much I may seem like a teacher, am treated like a teacher etc, the fact is that I am not. I am a student and an assistant to them, which is very different. I received half a day's (mainly useless) training for this. That is all. I am not here, really, to teach them anything new, but to reinforce their spoken language skills. So, if that's not to their liking... Sorry, guys. Take it up with the British Council!

Stacked it :(

Bonsoir à tous!

After 2 weeks of epicness à Londres, I am back in France! I got back on Saturday eve and still haven't seen anyone! But it was definitely a good call not getting back last night: Although it was amazing seeing everyone over the holiday, I swear down I didn't get a second to myself the whole time I was back and, therefore, did not accomplish as much shizzle as I had planned... Donc, it was good to lie down and breathe on Saturday night (I had also cleverly left myself some vodka in the fridge for future celebrations), then have all of Sunday to chillax, eat some grapes and falafel (not together - don't panic!!), watch Lock, Stock and some Being Human, lesson plan, send some emails and prepare a plan of action for the coming week.

The journey back from London was alreet, but I still dislike my unavoidable changeover in Paris! Some dude at the Bureau de Change started talking to me in Spanish (say wha, girlfrieeeeend?) which confused me, greatly. And some bird who was pretending to be mute started stroking me outside Gare du Bane-of-my-Life (Nord). Apart from that, there were no major dramas... Like the last time I was at that station and had my first proper argument in French with a 'disabled' gypsy...

Had an excellent start to the day, today (Montag). Decided to make the effort to get ready quicker and go to breakfast (which is in another building) for the first time in literally months. 5.30am. Don't worry, I can handle the heat. Flounced out of my residence at 6am to find the gates closed on both sides, meaning no one from my residence could get in and no one from the other building could get out, this morning, and I had to make do with a coffee at the station (bastads...). Couldn't be arsed with going back to my studio to do nothing for 20 minutes, so I arrived half an hour early for my train. Not ideal, by anyone's standards, but whatever. This country is just trying to wind me up, already. I know it's game. But you know what, people? I will not rise to the immaturity of France!

Once in Thiers, I proceeded to fall on my arse, somehow managing to graze my knee (which FYI is not near my arse) on the way down - talent - near the bottom of the hill of doom which connects Thiers station to the foot of the next hill which goes up to my school. And there were a group of pupils behind me.

First lesson at 8am went well! My Secondes (15-16 years old and youngest pupils of the lycée) seemed relatively pleased to see me, which was nice and, after translating a variety of swear words/other offensive English phrases that they seem to have accumulated over the last two weeks into French for them, we had a successful debating lesson! Second lesson with Terminales was good, as was the third with Premières and in my final lesson, the other lot of Secondes were being such angels we just played Bingo for most of the hour and they loved their lives (completing the actual lesson plannages quickly and efficiently in the middle, as asked). Excellent.

Not looking forward to last lesson on Thursday now, as I have been lumped with the whole class again (trust they are a CAUCHEMAR when they're all together, little feckers...) because the English teacher who can't speak English can't manage her time between her 2 schools, either. Cheers bebssss. This school, right.. I was trying to think last night how best to describe it to you, and this is what I came up with: You see how your body can't store vitamins? So you have to constantly top yourself up, daily? That's what it's like, here - I have to bum-lick these people unceasingly, mainly by doing things that, as an assistant, I shouldn't be doing like marking, grammar lessons and taking whole classes, as I could be back in the doghouse at any minute. This could just be because, for example, it's a Thursday and they forgot that they actually liked me on the Tuesday, so I have to do something to prove that I'm not a prick, then they remember that I'm not a massive douche and are really nice to me for another couple of days/weeks/minutes/hours. Nooottt even joking. Half the staff here have mountain-related issues, I'm sure of it (the pupils, luckily, seem to have localised and adapted to their surroundings since childhood. Sadly, it's too late for some of the teachers...)

Anyway, the 7 weeks between Christmas and Winter holidays FLEW by like a bee on pro-plus, so I'm sure that these next 7 weeks will, too :)

Will write again once I've actually seen one of my mates and something's happened. Got an hour and a half to hang around up the mountain until I can go back to Clermont and have a possible Carrefour date with Justine. Ooh, sexy.

Love you all!

P.S. Here's a small, crap picture of the elusive Thiers. Taken from Thiers, about halfway up the montagne. Don't be fooled by how low in the sky it seems. This is a middle section, there is more upwards on your left and downdowndownwards towards EARTH on your right...

Bits and Bobs!

J'approche d'une petite ville, elle
est située à mi-côte. Une rivière
baigne ses murs et coule ensuite
dans un jour si favorable
que je compte ses tours et ses
clochers. Elle me paraîte peinte
sur le penchant de la colline.

LA BRUYERE
Voyage de Clermont à Thiers

Wee poem to start you off, there, about the (train, I assume) journey from Clermont to Thiers.

You haven't heard from me in a while because I've been 'busy' and am currently struggling to recover from a 2 day hangover. It was my 21st, what can I say? 1) I'm getting old. 2) I could have been worse haha. 3) We had a funny, funny night on Tuesday, so that's ok!

This week, I haven't had all of my classes as my pupils have been doing their BAC blancs - mock exams for their Baccalauréat. Poor things. Hate exams! And last week was quite eventless in terms of teaching. Have had a few really good weeks with BTS, though, which is good. Even got a bit of banter going with some of the second years (Crédit Agricooool). Bon.

Before Christmas, I gave a lengthy summary of my first few months here. Voilà a shorter and probably much more positive one (apart from Thiers :p):

Clermont-Ferrand
I don't mind Poomont, now. I think the week and a half of sunshine definitely helped. And getting out to Paris and Lyon lol. I am fully aware that it's shit compared to most of the rest of France for reason upon reason, however I really aime the rugby team (ASM) and do now have a bit of a soft spot for le Puy-de-Dôme, our biggest volcano. You 'eard. I've become a bit attached to a volcano. Evidently, France has driven me completely insane. I was also told by a teacher about a month ago 'tu es complètement intégrée maintenant' when I wore my ASM hoody to work. That was nice to hear :) not such an outsider anymore (after 5 months...).

Thiers
Bloody Thiers haha! Being here, it still feels a lot like how I'd imagine Soviet Russia would've felt. This part will, sadly, never change and I ask God and my friends 'Why? Why me? Why was I chosen out of hundreds of French students to be placed in Thiers?' every day I come to work. Just because I like this volcano, doesn't mean I aime the mountains/countryside as well, now! Well, maybe a little bit more :p Things I like about Thiers are (that's right, I just typed 'like' and 'Thiers' in the same sentence): The place has made me a more tolerant person!! I know this, because you have to have the patience of a SAINT in general to spend lots of time in a place like this and also because, on the train back from Lyon, Sam started getting wound up quickly by the trees and fields and fields and fields and ooh, mountains, fields, fields, a shack, fields, treeeeees, trees, TREEEEES etc. etc. (I did try to warn you all) as we entered the Auvergne and I was calm as can be. Kinda like hey, look at me, I can handle this greenery that's all up in ma grill. I also recognised Thiers from the other side of the mountain. It's freaking me out how I recognise different fields and tree 'families' and sky lines etc. Thiers has also made me appreciate Clermont and the rest of the world, more.

The Peopolz
Ok, so, you know how when I first got to Thiers, the teachers (none of whom live anywhere near, obviously) told me that everyone in Thiers is very poor and that's why there's no shops, no work, no nothinnng etc.? And then how I found out that a teacher at Erin's lycée had taken her on a walk and pointed out how nice the BACKs of the houses are, how nice their gardens are, how many swimming pools can be seen...? Me and Erin discussed this at the beginning of our placement and remarked on how bizarre it was that the vast majority of people living in Thiers seem to be trying to hide their wealth. Before Christmas, I couldn't be bothered to lesson plan (casual) so I discussed stereotypes with some of my students, and it emerged with some of them that Auvergnats (in general, so people from the Clermont-Ferrand/Vichy/Moulins areas) are known for being stereotypically tight with their money and their possesions. One guy gave the brilliantly-worded example 'If I have cake and you say me I can have a part of cake I say NO you can't have some of my cake'. Obviously, after each example, I was told 'but not me, not me, me and my family aren't like that'. Hmm, we thought. Could this be part of the reason for the Thiernois wanting to hide their wealth? Are they a bit paranoid about something related? The most recent piece to this puzzle surfaced in a class I had last week. I gave them role play scenarios which they worked on in groups of 2 or 3 (so there were several groups) and the first scenario was around the subject of bullying. Fascinatingly, the victim in every group's scenario was being bullied because they had a lot of money. Weeeiiiirrrddd, huh? Erin and I are still trying to figure out what all of this MEANS haha but there you are. There's my little social study of Thiers.

The Good Times
Well, Tuesday night was definitely a highlight! I won't even go into what/how much alcohol I consumed, but you should know that I am an absolute hero. Shout out to Victor the barman who also loved his life that night and made me a birthday cracker with some cream that ended up, through no fault of my own, in my hair and face. What a guy. Here we are:



Here is Beardmore's toilet maze from a different night:



From left to right: Pauline (the best Frenchie everrr), Lauryn and Rachael/Deji (my favourite female Scot):



Jemima (Mike), Laura (Bran/Wales), Dan (... Dan/Beiber) and Lauryn in Jaude this Christmas:



Halloween:



Some random pricks who ruined my hair and, consequently, my life:



Only joking, love you boys! (... Sometimes).

Tomorrow I return to Angleterre for 2 weeks! Reeeeeally looking forward to seeing most of the fam and 2 of my best mates in the evening for a meal! In the same restaurant in Stanmore that my Marge went to for her 21st - aaawwww isn't that nice? :) And I'm afraid (no, really, I'm genuinely actually a little bit scared) of the inevitable battering my liver is going to recieve again on Saturday night! Suppose I'd better get it over and done with haha!

Love to all and will see many of you this weekend! xxxx

Culture and sheep killing.

Herro, here's the latest:

Last week was the funniest week I've had since beginning teaching! Monday was BRILLIANT as il n'y avait pas de secondes! Excellent! So I didn't have my first lesson at 8am or my last one at 3pm! Still had to come in quite early because of trains, but only taught from 11am-1pm. Bliss. And it was sunny! Got back to Clermont Shore really early so went on bank and laundrette dates with Mike and Wales.

Tuesday was a similar affair: first year BTS (the pooheads) are on stage for 2 weeks, so I finished at 12pm. Did lots of 'have you ever/would you ever..?' and advertising exercises with the other classes, which went down well. I finally cracked the boring know-it-all class. Scoooore. Hopefully I will remain in their good books! Also that class cracked me up this morning (would never have seen that coming). I asked the annoying swearing boys very nicely, before they started, if they could (for once) not use any bad words in their dialogue. "Ahhh ptaiiiiin". So that was their entire dialogue down the drain, then. But they coped! And they didn't try to push their luck either, so this made me a bit more willing to compromise. I just thought, if it makes them THAT happy so say 'fuck you', 'mother fucker', 'prick' (quite impressed they know little ones like that, actually) and 'wanker', and no one else is around to hear... Ahhhh why notttt? Don't be tight, Murdoch! "Boys, this time you may use one swear word. Once. If you absolutely must. Use it wisely..." This made them incredulously happy and now they smile at me rather than giving me evils. What made me laugh, though, was that all of the girls, who are very lady-like and polite and would never think to add in an unneccesary grand mot, took this as their cue to slip in "ahh FEUCK" somewhere irrelevant in their's as well haha. They were also really going for it! I really feel like they learnt something today.

On Wednesday, I literally rolled around in my pyjamas all day, generally just being happy with my day off. Yeah, thought I'd share that image with you. Deji came over in the evening for some romantic vegetarian burritos. If you and I are connected on Spotify, check out my playlist entitled 'Dej <3'.

Thursday was entertaining, as usual. Had the lovely class of dreams at 8am and we decided to sod the lesson half way through to talk about different English/French accents and French TV. I have a nifty list. 'Plus belle la vie' sounds like a mixture between 'Eastenders' and 'Desperate Housewives', so il faut que je get on that. Ahhhww and they invited me for coffee in the student foyer. Dey so naize :)

My second lesson was just ridiculous! There were only 4 girls and Fayssal : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUgg4wd1ke4. If you've just watched that video then, err, yeah...

Have you ever/Would you ever..?

"Would you ever steal?" "Yez, I would steal the eyes of Lauryn *creepy stare*". Nervous laughter from me and the girls. I'm thinking that, to be fair to the guy, even though it was cringe it was really quick, so I'll give him that one. "Genius, aaaaanyway..." More laughter from the girls. "Mais NON je suis sérieux, quoi." Sulk. Riiiiiiiight. At least he grasped the use of the word 'would'. Moving swiftly on. "So, has anyone ever-" "Lauryn! Lauryn! I forget something!" (Oh Jesus) "Yes?" "Does you 'ave a cléf?" He asks, brandishing his USB stick. "... No... Why?" "Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh......... I 'as a film for you. Iz called 'The Prophet'". Don't even want to know what that's all about, franchement. Carrying on. "What's the silliest thing you have ever done?" Blank faces (not a lot goes down in Thiers). "Oh! Oh! OH!" "Yes, Fays?" "I killed a sheep in Algeria!!". Bloody fantastic. He then proceeded to stand up and demonstrate, very graphically and with sound effects, exactly how he had kicked this 'medium', 'shit' sheep to death (when he was 11... The actual fuck?) and how his uncle had gone mental and slapped him. He ended this spectacle by revealing "I don't like this sheeps, quoi" with a big frown on his face. Bit worrying. After that, every 5 minutes until the end of the class he would start going "MEEEEHHHRRRR" and mime his sheep slaughter with a slightly manical grin on his face.

I have to say, from a teaching perspective, I was thrown.

Before the last lesson, I found a note from this English teacher saying 'Lauryn you have whole class today as normally I am not there'. Okay 1) What are you talking about, woman? and 2) No, because every other week I have a different class all together, so how does that one work? To be fair, her English is about as good as my French and if I ever see her, she just speaks English. I never understand that the feck this woman's chat is. JustdoitinFrench! The pupils turned out to be half brilliant and half little... Anyway but it went well!

On Friday we went for coffee and then a small group of us, English and French, went to Le Court Métrange, the international short film festival in Clermont-Ferrand. Didn't think I was that into films, but it was really good! We did four solid hours (truely heroic), 2 hours of the French nationals and 2 hours of the internationals. I'm now so cultured I want to cry.

Yesterday morning (Montag) I was bloody late for bloody school bloody again! Second time in like 5 weeks. Naat goooood. Not my fault! This teacher never showed up but the MAIN thing is I'm not in trouble lol pheeew. I think what I have going for me is that it would be impossible for me to have an attendance record worse than the Spanish assistant. Thank you, Spanish assistant.

Did a lesson with this first class yesterday where I gave them scenarios to do with bullying, stealing etc. and they had to create role plays to show what they would do in these situations. I found it interesting that in each bullying role play, the victim was being picked on for having lots of money. I guess this further explains why the rich people in Thiers (so basically all the people in Thiers) leave the fronts of their houses looking scabby and old. Or maybe their making a big deal of hiding their wealth has fuelled this attitude? Who knows? I feel like I have discovered another piece to mine and Erin's puzzle, we just can't work out where it fits! They're mostly all quite strange people in Thiers anyway. Who will ever know why they do what they do?

Also did one with 2nd year BTS today (have to keep things simple as with the pupils in their 20s haha ahh bless their lives!) and the boys gave a dramatic account of me being 'encircled' (how/why they know the word 'encircled' yet couldn't tell you they went shopping or to the park in English is beyond me) outside the school and them STOPPING THE BUS haha and scaring away the bullies and me crying but then 'no cry after because of we'! I had wondered why they'd been so insistant on being the last to share their work! I really like that whole class, actually. I was scared before I started teaching them because every single one is older than me! I thought I'd have some trouble with this one girl who was being a dick in the first lesson but I tried the old being overly nice to her about her and her rubbish English in the first lesson and I think she realised quite quickly that I'm not a douche so now I'd say in her group she probably tries the hardest!

In other news...

The sun has gone, owww :( It's raining in Poomont-Ferrand and Thiers is stuck in a cloud once more! But I'm glad we had that nice, sunny week as we desperately needed it! AND today I get to leave early again yissss :D AND it's 8 days until my birthday yissss :D AND it's 10 days until the Second Coming (back) of the Murdoch yissss :D AND I might be shopping in Lyon with Wales tomorrow yisssss :D ..... Yiiiissssss!!!

Paris, Lyon, more Clermont & I have now, officially, seen all of Mike's lady parts :( all of them! 28/01/11 - 07/02/11

Hiya! I've been enjoying life lots since I last posted! Let us begin with Pariiiiiiis! Not a massive fan, personally, and didn't have time to do much touristing BUT Vicky and I did spend over NINE HOURS in Disneyland! Again, not really a Disney person (clearly I have no interests?), but I have to say it was up there in the top 7 best days of my life!! Thank you again, Anne! Ooh, Anne...

We stayed in a 'hotel' in Montmartre and definitely made a friend for life in the form of the hotelier..... Naaat! As for the hotel room... I'll just tell you that we paid 50 squids each for a 2 night stay in central Paris and leave the rest to your imagination... And I still can't honestly say that I've been out in Paris as Vicky, Sam, Katie and I just ended up drinking and talking for the whole of Europe in our room on Friday night, if I'm honest. And on Saturday, Vicky and I met Satie/Kam (Sam and Katie? Could one of these possibly catch on??) in a strange place called Paramentiers (could well have just invented that name) to wish Kyle a happy birthday. But, sadly, Vauryn (Vicky and Lauryn) had to collect their zimmer frames from reception and shuffle home shortly after midnight. Eeheheheh...

For a more detailed/slightly more dramatic account of that weekend, read Satie's blogs cos I literally can't be arsed. Soz babz.

I can't really remember what happened last week, just that I was next-level tired after all the excitement of Disneyland on Saturday. Such a child. OH YEAH I attempted to eat an egg on a crepe at Pauline's for CREPE DAY (La Chandaleur) on Tuesday night and I managed to avoid getting egg poisoning again (sneeeeeeaky French eggs) because I am a hero. Crepe day was actually Wednesday, but that day Pauline getted off to sunny Glasgow to 'visit some friends' - suuuuuuuure ;) *cough*!

Thursday night was odd. Dej, Lauryn, Welshie and Welshie no. 2 decided to make celebrity guest appearances at 'Afterwork' which is an event which occurs in your life once a month at the Coop. de Mai (music venue in Clermont) on a Thursday from 6pm-midnight (yeah, seriously). People that go there favour standing in small groups, chatting, over dancing. This made me both sad in side and very confused. There's bare space, tall ceiling, a decent music level in your ear holes and friends... Why would you not be busting some movez girlfriend *click*?? It got pretty emotional.

And, I can safely say, me and Dej got PICKED UP. By a girl. Yay. Welcome, ladies, to Clermont-Ferrand, where all the fitties are either gay, taken or menstruate. Not the one. Her name was Meryl and she was a nutter. The Welshies went home to get a good night's sleep in preparation for being angry about the game the following night (Laura, give me love give me nothing but love) and Dej and I got a lift to Meryl's place which is like 5 mins from my place. Win. She basically got naked (Meryl, not Dej, don't panic) and her weird mate was there then 2 guys who they didn't know and who didn't actually know each other, incidently, just appeared out of nowhere and cotched with us for a bit then we went to a 'club' around the corner that we'd never seen before. And that was Thursday night.

On Friday evening we watched England v. Wales in a wee pub in Place de la Victoire next to the Cathedral. The French were yelling 'COME ON WALLS' which was silly. Where the f**k is Walls?? Beats me...

Saturday was Lyon day! Yaaaaay! Lyon was classsss :D And if the weather had been a guy, I'd probably have fancied it. I met Sam (of the famous Satie duo) at Lyon Part-Dieu and we spent four glorious hours soaking up its sexyness, its NICE, POLITE PEOPLE, its ENGLISH SHOP (I'm gonna take this opportunity to proudly inform you that, of all the British football teams, Arsenal was this shop's flag of choice. Don't even bother trying to argue that Arsenal's a French team cos that will not stop Lauryn and Lyon being best friends) and enjoying the weather. It. Was. Lush. I didn't wanna leave! Definitely spending a weekend there soon, even if I have to ride it solo like my mate Derulo. It comes a close second after Landan, for me, so far! Even without the nice weather, I think I would have fallen in love!

Saturday night was wellllllll funny! :) I brought Sam back to Clermont, determined that she wouldn't regret it, met up with QM's NEW ARRIVAL Dan (how exciting!) and we went to the Ladpad for a chilled out house-warming........ Only joking! People were ill, a cupboard fell off the wall (but, as Beardmore pointed out, it looks better without that cupboard anyway), Mike was NETWORKING/flashing and the whole thing demonstrated, beautifully, why the guys never bothered to furnish the place. Funny, funny night!

Sunday was lovely, too! Weather-wise and life-wise! Sam and I were out and about in the sunshine by precisely 12.08pm after THAT NIGHT. Ghandi and Mandela, powering through life. I wasn't lying to her when I said that you can see all of Clermont (may or may not have forgotten about Jardin Lecoq...) in around half an hour, so we had ages to chill before her train back to Paris.

After we said our farewells on the platform, I met Wales and then we retrieved Mike. Together, we spent the afternoon cotchin in the sun in Jardin Lecoq (again, sorry Sam. I'll nick someone else's pictures and we'll just pretend you saw it) and watched 'The King's Speech' with Deji and some Erasmuseses at the cinema in the evening. Lavly!!

Il faut que je get my revenge on BTS...

It's Tuesday again!

I got better last week, yippp! But not until Saturday. Gross. Thursday at school made up for Shit Tuesday. The twins brought in 'Inception' on DVD for me to borrow - "we are little angels" yes, yes you are, you disconcertingly sweet 17 year olds - and a guy from a Terminale class gave me a portrait of himself to keep as a 'memoir'. Okaaaaay, thanks mate...

Thursday night failed. Mike and I, still too ill to move, attempted to have a film/pizza night. This lasted for a steady half hour before we looked at each other and went 'nah' then crawled back into our beds. This was at around 7.45pm. Tragic doesn't even cut it. Friday night I was also in, but so was Emma aka the best ginger person in the world, so she gave me a cheeky call from Landan and made my life better.

DEJ (Rachael) came back from Glasgow on Saturday night, so the two of us celebrated by getting pissed with Frenchies :) We spoke lots and lots of French like we're meant to, recieved a bit of abuse from the locals and got drunk. Standard 'night out' in Clermont, then. Contrary to earlier expectations, Pauline, Dej and I were the last ones standing. Hell, we were the only 3 out of about 10 people who even made it out. Heros. Hmm... We did some drinkin' and we did some dancin'. More than one guy smelt my hair though. Eew. And creepy dancing/grinding girl (yes, girl. That throws a few gender stereotypes out la fenêtre) kept popping up to say hi. Cos tonight babeh, I wanna get FREAKY WITH YOU. The night ended with Pauline screaming "va te faire FOUTRE, SERIOUSEMENT" (google it English peopolz) at a guy who was being mean. Au fait, he was being a bit of a xenophobic prick, if I'm honest. Nothing we're not already used to, but ma petite Pauline is quite protective of her anglaises and Dej l'écossaise. The two of us then had a drunken discussion about life etc in the street (deep) before being sent home by a random guy who 'feared for our safety' on 'the STREETS of Clermont'.

Dear Clermont-Ferrand,
Why are you so weird? You're lucky we've been getting on a bit better, lately.
A fair amount of love, Lauryn.

Obviously no one was in any fit state to move anywhere the next day.

Monday was alreet, y'know? Bit boring by most people's standards, I'd say. Although, the annoying, bitchy (I'm gonna talk over the teacher for an hour to see how far I can push her then give her my best don't walk home alone tonight smile when she starts getting pissed off) girls in my Terminale STG class behaved accordingly and even produced a decent bit of work. Couldn't tell you how or why that happened, but it did! Also, the tables have turned in my life, for it is now me explaining 'il faut que' (in English, obv). Judge me if you will, but until I got to Franco and realised that no one ever uses the subjunctive with it anyway, I would physically flee from its presence! But anyway, we're good now. I felt powerful. Take that, Godard!!

Today (Tuesday) I decided to subject my students to the horrors of THE most boring article on the Royal Wedding I could POSSIBLY find, as my own personal form of punishment for last Tuesday. Muhahaha. However, it went down quite well with the first lesson (Terminale). I made things a bit more interesting for this class as they're not awful people, just a bunch of boring know-it-alls who sometimes go out of their way to try to prove that I'm an idiot who only listens to pop music and knows nothing of the world. Like this morning, for example. I was always under the impression that France hasn't had a monarchy for the past couple of hundred years, at least. I know this is their country, but I'm still completely sure I'm right on this one lol. Now, I'm not sure if this was just misinterpreted or if this guy was trying to catch me out (I strongly suspect the latter). I said, right, 'If there was a monarchy in France...' as in NOW, not as in 'if there had been'. The hand of El Presidente of the Priory of Know It All shot up... *snigger* 'Errr this is the case'. Me: *Shit* *Very confused* *Oh no...* *Fuck how is there a modern day French monarchy I know nothing about?* Errr.. Yeahyeah I know but... What I meeeean is.. If they were of the err the same err status as England's monarchy today...' I thought that was an ok-pretty decent save, considering how thrown I was! Could have been worse. I promtly got my embarrassed ass on Google and texted my Historian housemate in London to check haha. Bloody kids...

Had my first proper lesson with the second year BTS today. Was quite nervous before, as some of them are nearing the retirement age (not really but they are a fair bit older than me!), but it went really well! They've been on proper work experience for the past 2 months where they've actually had some responsabilities and have had to communicate with people on a professional level, so they are more mature than the first years by about 3 and a half miles.We attempted to discuss their work experience for about 20 mins (their English is appalling but, not to worry, Auntie Laurie will sort it out!) then did the article/debate thang which they got really into. They ended up arguing in French inbetween their points in 'English' in order to fully express themselves to one another, which was hilarious to listen to and also made me think that they cared :)

Ooooooooh BTS year 1 were notttttttt happy, though! Tehehehehehe! The article had the desired effect, so kudos to that Guardian journalist! They blatently knew what I was doing, and I knew they knew that I knew haha... It was one of those entertaining situations. It was actually torture for them as all of our classes have been really laid back so far and I've gone out of my way to make them different from their normal English classes, which I happen to know are heinously dull for BTS students. Not today, folks! But no one complained, they just looked sad and got on with it. Clearly the bollocking worked. I was laiden with dirty looks from the girls for the duration of the hour and around school, but that just made me happier :) I know I know I know I'm mean, but they were nearly the end of me last week, I swear!

Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to Paris! I'm looking forward to seeing everyone and I'm looking forward to spending a weekend in a place where people expect foreigners to be. I imagine it will feel quite refreshing not to be glared at like I'm the lovechild of Margaret Thatcher and Hitler every time my dirty English accent is heard.

'T'a un rhume?' Yes, now leab me alone!!

Tuesday... Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday... Well!! (Before I begin, I should warn you that ths is just one massive vent about yesterday, so feel free to go back to whatever you were doing!)

Woke up with what felt of the flu. Perfect. Not a chance I was gonna miss another Tuesday of lessons, so I missioned on with life. By the time I got to the station, I thought I was gonna die! Not really, but you know when your limbs and everything from the chest upwards are causing you a lot of pain/don't work? I must have looked even more horrendous than the time I went straight to work at 8 after pulling an all-nighter for an essay, as several teachers yesterday informed me that there is an 'infermerie' and that I should 'go there if you need drugs' by an English teacher. Bless him!

Needless to say that I looked and felt shit throughout my first lesson. The boring one. I got snappy with some boys who managed to slip 'prick' and 'nigger' into their dialogue, which was already shit compared to the others. It was at this point that I took it upon myself to remind them that racism's not reeeeeally that funny (especially not when I'm ill) and managed to slip in a bitchy 'et votre anglais est pas assez bon pour utiliser ces grands mots, les garçons.' Harsh, but true. And it shut them up.

Joy of joys, I was then asked by my résponsable to cover this same class, but the whole class, as she had a meeting at another lycée. Luckily I had a few more lessons planned, and after having to take last Tuesday off I was more than happy to cover for her. And I was feeling a bit more perky after consuming 3 cups of lemon tea in an hour. So that lesson was fine, if a bit boring. I couldn't face lunch, so had some more lemon tea (I can feel myself growing worryingly dependent haha).

I was also forewarned that I might be needed to take the whole first year BTS class for 10-15 mins at the beginning of class in case my résponsable was late back from the meeting. The meeting ran over the full hour of the class.
'Désolée Lauryn! Ça s'est bien passé, le BTS?'
No.
I, all of the sudden, found myself stuck with a class of 26 BTS students (may I remind non-students that we're not supposed to be alone with more than 16/7 of any class) who are in their 20s but who, I now know, have a collective mental age of about 9. At a push. After half an hour, I realised that the teacher wasn't coming to take half the class. Shit. I had things I could have done with them, but nothing that these idiots could have even bothered to start in the last half hour. Oh, and did I mention how fucking ill I've felt since yesterday?! I'm pretty sure that, on a good day, I could have got in under control as I've done it before - I took that whole class in the first month I was here with no problem. So I know that I can do it, if absolutely essential. Just with warning from the beginning! But anyway, I was so physically and mentally drained by the afternoon that I decided that, if they couldn't be arsed to learn, then I couldn't be arsed to teach them. Fair exchange. I just didn't have the energy to even try and stop their crap. But when tables, chairs and shoes started to go awry, however, I moved 13 of the nicer ones to another room and gave them something to do. This is, like, one of the best lycées in the area, and these guys are in their 20s! They are not kids! And even if they were... Argh! I spent the remainder of the lesson running back and forth between the two rooms like a fucking nursery nurse to these people who are mainly OLDER than me, to make sure no one got hurt (literally).
So, did it go well, Lauryn?
Actually, no. No, it didn't.
However, I did recieve some fantastic support from the guy in charge of discipline and from my résponsable, afterwards. I got the impression that they were pretty much furious that this class have now started to play up with me as well. I know other teachers have problems with this particular class and I guess I was kind of their last chance. Fail, guys. Apparently fucking off the assistant was the final straw, so I identified them like criminals (lol) and am now resting peacefully in the knowledge that they unknowingly have an impending bollocking from the deputy head on its way over. And in two weeks (I've asked for certain pupils by name for next week as they never get to have a lesson with me as the school feel it is more productive to give me the shitty ones as they usually listen to/do their work in my classes and not with their actual teacher) when I take the shit ones, assuming I'm feeling much better by then, they will be getting a fucking bollocking from me, too. :)

Luckily I have a day off today, so am praying that I feel much better by school tomorrow. I have my favourite class in the morning woop! I think some of them are bringing in 'Inception' for me to watch in French (THEY'RE SO CUTE), so I have that class to look forward to! Then 2 more difficult ones then I'm going back to bed for the weekend. Being ill two weeks in a row has made everything seem so much more difficult! But next week is anudda week and at the end of it I'll be in Paris, hoping I don't get 'Taken' (don't watch that the week before you go to Paris. Cheers, Dej!) with loaads of people from my uni having a gooooood tiiiiiiime :):):):):)

If you actually just read all of that, I do apologise! I know some assistants who have it so much worse and all the time, and it's just a stupid cold lol so I feel bad for complaining about one not-so-good day... But fuck it, I still feel crap and had to let it out!

Lovelovelove x

Not much to report, but this will probs turn into another essay, anyway... Enjoy!

Due to people pissing off to other parts of the country, Jemima (Mike), Laura (Bran) and I (Gordon Ramsay) found ourselves alone this weekend. Lonely? Nope. Free to do what we want with no other complaints (I am naming no names haha)? Yes! Excelleeeeeeent. We had a stupidly exciting Friday which consisted of buying postcards (???) and doing washing. We then went our seperate ways and, later, reconvened chez Gords for dinner and plans. To be fair, we probably left mine quite a bit after 1am, but we got to this alright bar with some horrendous karaoke occuring, sat down and bought some terrifyingly expensive cocktails only to have the lights come up 5 minutes later. Haha very unfortunate! We heard some guys behind us begin to prepare an English speech, so decided that the time to leave was imminent. We filed out onto the street, looked up and saw our mates hanging out in their new ladpad near Jaude. So we met up with them and went out to partay. Pretty funny night, however 'Girls' Night Out Take 1' = Fail!

Saturday was lovely! Laura and I went for a romantic lunch in Jaude (it's necessary to add that we were searching for 2 hours, no exaggeration, so lunch was more like dinner tbh) and it was sexy. Just the three of us in the eve and we FINALLY dragged ourselves to Atelier aka The Only Decent Bar/Club/Restaurant in Clermont (on the outskirts, but Clermont is miniscule so we could walk there from the centre in about half an hour)! It's so nice that you even get ID'd on the way in! We weren't expecting that at all so had 1/3 IDs between us. However, we pulled the English card and it worked in a flash! The club was pretty jazzy: very expensive, as expected, but full of respectable-looking people bopping to music from THIS century!! We have decided to go back on special occasions :) we also made a new friend called Arnaud who is from Clermont but just got back from working in Paris for a few years. He is a hairdresser and a pretty nice guy. Score. The night ended with a woman simply remarking 'quinze ans' as she watched Mike stumble out of the door :) hehehe...

Sunday didn't feel like Sunday as there were loooaaads of people around in Jaude and things were open! I think it was a combination of the sales and the weather being reasonably warm until 4ish. Wish it was like that every Sunday!

Lessons are same old same old, really. Sadly I had to take a day off sick last week which was infuriating as I had a day off the next day anyway. But when you're ill you're ill, what you gonna do? Was very scared about going back in on Thursday as I couldn't call the school, only email. Very unprofessional, but again, what can you do?! At least they recieved the email, and my résponsable didn't seem too worried about the 3 lessons I had to miss that day.

I bumped into the ENGLISH/IRISH pupil again this morning! For some reason unknown to man, this poor guy's family decided that Aubière (or somewhere near) would be a good place to move away from the troubles of N. Ireland and England. Aubière. REALLY? Luckily this guy's really good natured and seems to have taken it in his stride. He has been at another lycée for the past couple of years, but changed to Montdory in the middle of last term as the classes were more relevant. Another pupil introduced him to me on his first day. Definitely wasn't expecting that and I think it's nice for him to have an English person to bump into from time to time!

Anyway, an absolutely PETRIFYING amount of money has left my English account over the past couple of weeks due to rent, phone bills, train tickets, this weekend's antics, (my new ASM hoody...) etc, so I forsee a very quiet weekend at the end of this week! I'm not the only one on a budget, though. Hurry up, CAF! Less than two weeks until I go to Paris with Vicky and now Katie as well! Got a couple of other social calls to make while up there, so should be a great weekend!

Love to all! Hope everyone's enjoying life!

January so far!

Once again I am experiencing keen, keen times in my life so here's what's happened since Wednesday night!


Last Thursday was my first day back at school and it began at 8am with my favourite class, which was a nice start to the term! Shortly afterwards, there was a FIRE ALARM! It was well exciting! I think something exploded in the science building that the collège behind us use, cos there was bareeeee fire engines and a van for chemical and radioactive emergencies. DRAMA! Haha not really but, let's face it, it was probably the talk of the town. So that broke the morning up nicely. And, outside, while we were waiting, I saw some other English teachers and was priveleged enough to recieve my first cheeky kisses from HRH The Résponsable! It was truely an honour, and I think this means that she loves me, now. And that she missed me very, very much over the Christmas break.

However, my favourite Pierre (there are a few to choose from in the staffroom) was being a bit funny with me :( maybe he's like a cat, you know when you leave your cat for a week or so and they get pissed off and ignore you when you first get back? Maybe this is like that. Hopefully, if I make him coffee and find videos of Canadian Ice Hockey players/clips of 'Murdoch Mysteries' on YouTube for him, he will be my friend, again. I can only hope for that much...

In my second lesson, some of the guys brought a friend along! I teach this dude in another class so I know him already, he's a laugh and talks loads which is good. He had a free period and clearly just wanted to join in the BANTER that is my classes. What can I say? Fair play to the guy haha. A classic line from the same class which must be acknowledged and appreciated was -whilst describing a night out- '... then I go for fight with my bad boys and after I go back in party for drink and sleep'. Solid gold LAD material, right there!!!

Pauline's weekly soirée was beautiful! It was great to see and catch up with our crazy Frenchies! I kinda missed them, ya know?! I think we managed to track down some of the only French students in Clermont who don't hold back on a night out. Good work on our part, I think!

So, Thursday was good. Apart from waking up with a very conspicuous rash RIGHT on my forehead??? Not a good look. It did make Jemima laugh at breakfast, though, and when I woke up and saw it in the mirror for myself I have to admit I did a bit of a Hollywood mirror scream in my bathroom, which made me laugh a bit later, too. So I suppose that the rash did have some redeeming qualities in serving a vaguely happy purpose!

In other news, I am definitely going to Disneyland with Vicky in 3 weeks! SEHR excited. Haven't been to Paris in YEARS so we're gonna be proper tourists :) like, the kind that even annoy other tourists! We are already both tragic girls in our very early 20s who genuinely enjoy 'exhibitions' and 'walks' lolllll - Vicky's bringing her camera and I'm bringing my rucksack, so we will blatently look the part, if nothing else! If anyone's around Paris Friday 28th-Sunday 30th (aka Sam and co.), let us know and we'll make time for a goold old English piss-up! Sorry Marge :p

In more boring news, the electricity hasn't tripped in my studio, yet, but we do have no heating and no hot water. Cold shower at 5.30am = not ideal and very saddening. Also, Jemima aka The Fountain of All Knowledge, somehow knew my pin code (she's basically Buddha cotching in the body of a Warwick alumni student from the Dulwich area), so the French mobile thing was actually sorted! Cheers again, Mike! However, I am now experiencing problems trying to buy more credit for it online. Wank. And I can't pay my Orange bill online as there's a 'page error'. This is, perhaps, even less ideal than the cold water situation! My bloody loan's through on time and everything (I think..)

Anyway, this week I am MAKING my students choose between watching either a clip from the latest Haj Potter film or from 'Inception' and then creating their own scenarios to follow from this clip and performing them to the rest of the class. Everything I've seen so far has involved Ron dying (proof, at last, that the French are proper racist against gingers), so I'll let you know if anything more interesting is thought up!

Bye for now!

I'm baaaaaack!

I know I seem like a massive keeno for posting a blog a mere 2 hours after my return to France, but I'm inexplicably excited to be back! This is both an interesting and positive turn in events :) it all started when the train got to Moulins (about an hour away from Clermont).

Anyway had quite a pleasant journey. Getting to the Eurostar was fine, the journey was quite nice cos this Chinese dude was sat opposite this French dude (sat next to me) and kicking him in his sleep the whole journey. I would have felt a bit sorry for the guy getting kicked but what can I say? He's French and was getting a bit pissed off so it made me giggle! Life's simple pleasures...

Yesterday I'd asked my uni mate Sam who's living and working up in old Gay (Smelly) Paris EXACTLY what to do on the Metro which scares the fuck out of me and she offered to come meet me at Gare du Nord and come with me to Bercy but nothing was set in stone. So it was a lovely surprise when she appeared out of NOWHERE (magic) in Paris :D I think I injured her with my suitcase more than once but appart from that we had a nice hour or so of chats before I got on my next train to Clermontymont.

Got back and pretty much bumped straight into two of my girlies who delightedly showed me their latest Carrefour canvas bags, decorated with Kiwis and Lemons. I had to point out that you know you're back in Clermont-Ferrand when you start getting a bit excited about new fruits on supermarket canvas bags...

When I got back earlier, the thought of teaching tomorrow and dealing with teachers asking EVERYTHING about London over Christmas/'Ohhhhhh Laureeeeeen I heard you couldn't make it in Monday and Tuesday' was already making me a bit sad inside, but the Welsh HERO that is Laura cleverly donated her lesson plan to my life :) excellent.

Also just turned on my French phone to discover that I have a pin code? Shit? Since when? And brought all my documents concerning said portable back to England so I'm basically gonna have to buy a new handset at the weekend. Good staaaaaaaaaaart.

Hope everyone's settling back in ok in France, Germany and Spain/Mexico and I'm looking forward to reading your blogs too! Much love xxxxxxxx

1 more sleep :)

Soooo I'm going home to England for two and a half weeks tomorrow :D yesssssss!! Here is a reflective blog entry for you concerning my time here so far...

Living in Thiers:
Living in Thiers was horrendous. I lived there from 29th September-1st November and it made me ever so sad. The countryside displeases me, as it is; but having to LIVE in the countryside up a MOUNTAIN surrounded by EVERGREENS and LIZARDS was just taking things too far, France, TOO FAR. There is nothing there (not even that many people) and there are cutlery shops, only. And that is the end of my reflection on Thiers.

Living in Clermont-Ferrand:
Clermont is like a bloody PALACE compared to Thiers, for obvious reasons. It is a 'city' (well, town), which is something! Although it is still surrounded on ALL SIDES by mountains and VOLCANOES and grassy hills which literally make me feel really trapped ahhhh, I live right in the 'city centre' (town centre) where there are buildings and people. This provides some comfort. The streets are covered in dog shit and most things are usually shut, but I suppose the same can probably be said for the rest of France, and the streets are quite cute so that makes up for the faeces a little bit. Place de Jaude (I live like a 5 min walk from here) looks genius now it's Christmas. Here's a cheeky photo (you have to imagine it covered in snow!):



Teaching:
Teaching has, on the whole, been quite enjoyable. I am very, very, very lucky to have been placed in a school with mainly bright students who generally have positive attitudes towards their work and towards my lessons. Of course, like everyone, we had a few teething problems at first, but I made sure that it was firmly established what I would and wouldn't put up with from them this year during the first few lessons and I've had next to no problems at all, since (touch wood this remains the case after Christmas!). It is, inevitably, still bizarre (for everyone!) being a teacher in a high-school environment to some pupils who are up to 3 years my senior. One guy in my BTS second year class, 23 years old, made it very clear in the one lesson I've had with them (they're on work experience until Jan) that he does not appreciate the fact that I'm still only 20 lol. Luckily for me, I didn't have to do anything cos the other guys kept telling him to shut up (in English) on my behalf :) excellent. Also, speaking of BTS pupils, here is one of the many reasons I love my first years/one for the assistants:

- 'Who has finished? Anyone?'
# 'Non... Ouais... Presque....... Ahouais, j'ai fini!'
- 'Alright, go on.'
*Silence*
- 'Qu'est-ce que tu fais?'
# 'Ah, c'est errrrrr, c'est juste un p'tit dessin de Noël. Je l'ai fait pour vous, Madame' (This guy is 21).
- 'Ok, merci. Et ton présentation?'
# 'Errr...'

The People:
My friends here are genius. I have a nice mix of English and French speaking friends who are all lovely. Sadly, since I've been here, it's been pointed out that I don't seem to like Spanish people very much hahaha constantly getting called up on that one. This is not the case, and I promise I'm not a massive racist against Spanish people.... It's just that the ones I know here are SOOOOOO BORING. And they complain CONSTANTLY about EVERYTHING despite claims of contentment. Literally like 'oh, I saw this and it was shit. I went there and it was shit. I hate these hours, I hate this, I hate that, this is getting on my nerves, that's annoying me... Oh, no, I love it here!' Uhhh make up your minds? When they start talking, I literally have to cover my ears. Needless to say, the few Spanish people I know here do piss me off and can be quite rude (one in particular, grrr...) but I'm sure if I went to Spain and met some more Spanish people they wouldn't all be like that!!! (I hope). Also, the Auvergnats are weeeiirrdd and the Thiernois are even weeeiirrdderr. I mean the general public. A lot of people are quite uptight and unfriendly, tbh, and no one looks you in the eye... Quite disconcerting! Also, it would seem that quite a lot of them don't like British or American people, as we've unfortunately come to discover on a few occasions! While I'm describing people here, I feel it's only fair to mention the beautiful specimens that live in my residence. Words cannot actually describe how perfect most of the guys look in there. I know I'm an actual pervert and I blame Kaly entirely for that, but seriously I have never seen so many beautiful, beautiful, beautiful (usually pretty naked) boys at once in such a confined area haha. It always cheers me up after work when they say hi! I guess that's one good thing about the Auvergne, there are fitties bloody everywhere! Now that is something I will miss in London (no offense, guys :p).

The Good Times:
There have been some hilarrrrrious days and nights, here. None that I remember in any great detail as we do all drink a lot to get through this haha, but I know there have been a few. For example, every night that my favourite American Matthew Perry aka Pez has come out with us, because everytime he does he is guaranteed to say something that will actually floor me with laughter. He's one of those guys with a very dry sense of humour who doesn't actually mean to be funny half the time, and just comes out with the most random things completely out of the blue. For example, talking about something completely unrelated and he will pop up with 'you two should be lesbians', or 'if you want it, that's ok', or 'I'd pay you to take it off' etc etc. I would like everyone in the world to meet and experience this guy as there is just no describing him in a blog! I also enjoy our Thursdays: I get back to Clermont at half 4ish and we go straight to a cafe next to the university for chats. Later in the evening, we go to our French friend's appartment for a weekly soirée where everyone gets absolutely hammered and the French students sing really badly, fall over and cut each other's hair and then we go out. And Sundays, when everyone's hungover or tired, we go for a cheeky hot chocolate and relfect upon the night's events (always brilliant).

Next Year:
Next year should be better as our surroundings seem much more familiar to us now and we've pretty much sussed out how things and people roll. It will also be better as we're only here for 2 months again before another two week holiday in February, so we won't be away from our friends and family for as long as this term. Speaking for myself, just under three months without seeing my family and friends has been too long. Two would have been ok, and I guess it'll seem quicker next time round, thank God! It's a shame that we couldn't start in January and finish in July, as I can imagine that the Auvergne is quite pretty when the weather's nice. I think a lot of the reason that everyone's so miserable here is that it is actually the grimmest place in the world in the autumn/winter. Grim grim grim. Does snow make it prettier? Nope, it just makes it grimmerrrrr lol and fucking freezing. I'm completely and utterly sure that I have never been this cold in my life! So that's never good, but hopefully by April we'll have at least one month living in a reasonable tclimate!


Anyway, those were my reflections. I'm gonna miss me friends a bit over the holiday as these are people that I literally spend every waking hour with, but.. I'll be honest, I don't think any of us are gonna miss Clermont as a place :p hehehe soooo glad to be coming back!!

See you all very soon! :D

Alright Stace ow's it goin' alright?

Firstly, hello! Been a while.

Secondly, Andrew and Dan if you're reading this then stop literally just stop right there cos it's creeping me out.

Anyway! I poked myself in the eye last night and it looks like I got in a fight. 'Cooool'. Also I was late to school this morning because I dropped my BlackBerry face-down in the river that runs through my room each day from the shower (not cooooooooooool). Basically, I think it's a little bit fecked. The caps button won't turn off and it drained itself of battery out of the blue, during the night. I use my phone for my alarm!!! Mother.. Anyway yeah so woke up at around 7.15 to a pissed off phone call from the teacher who was supposed to be taking me in. Woops. Got in like 2 hours later and my responsable took one look at the state of me and my life and just went 'Mmm.. C'est pas grave'. Sorted.

Just had a lesson with some terminale pupils. If you know what is good for you, you will get onto youtube immediately and search 'what is love le retour'. It's filmed in Thiers and Fayssal is one of my terminale pupils. Now, he is my FAVOURITE pupil haha! Btw we were doing 'music', hence why we were pissing around on youtube instead of doing work.

This Monday, we had a surprise birthday party for our French buddy! She's lovely. However, her birthday definitely isn't until August???? Yup, I'm still confused about that, too. Her best mate's reasoning was that no one's around in August to celebrate it. Could we not do this on a weekend, seeing as EVERYONE has work or uni on Tuesdays? Nope, cos not everyone is around on every weekend before xmas. So, how about after xmas, like, closer to her actually birthday...? Nope, apparently that doesn't work either. So it was up to me and a friend to keep her occupied for a few hours in the evening while her other mates got the appartment ready. Even after a drastic key fuck up (they definitely locked the first of the three doors into her appartment from the inside), after many a 'qu'est-ce qui se passe ce soirrrrr?', many a 'ce soir est bizarre...' and many a 'ok, j'appelle Anne C' -'NON!!', we got inside and stilllll she literally had no idea. It felt very rewarding haha! SHE LOVED IT.

What else... My life, the SNOW! I'm over it now because it's gone, but JESUS CHRIST it was RIDICULOUS. But, as I said, over it.

Anyway, basically same old same old here and I am SO excited to be coming home in 8 days that I think I'm gonna WEE!!! I know I only work in Thiers 3 times a week, but I am sicckk ttoooo deeaattthhhh of bloody trees and streams and mountains and nature and shit. Maybe it's because it's cold as well, so it makes it seem worse. I dunno, I just have a massive, massive problem with the countryside. It's shit in England and it's shitter in France. I know this is terribly closed minded, but I've never been able to see, for the LIFE of me, how anyone can live in places like that! I can't WAIT to get back to marge's cheeky little industrial estate in north Watford and to sunny Bow where I belong!!!

A PLUS! BIBIIIIIIIIIIIS!

Hola

Okay so since last Thursday...

I'm pretty sure it was Thursday night that was the horrendous Erasmus party, so we won't go into that cos it's just boring. Plus my shoulder was still hurting from the unfortunate door incident, so I wasn't it the chirpiest mood ever! My American buddy Erin who lives in Thiers came to stay on Friday night which was beautiful! This is turning into a regular occurrence, which pleases me! We went out very late to that club I don't like but had an epic night and was delighted to discover quite early on in the night that I was in that state of drunkeness that most 14 year-olds experience where everything is absolutely hilarious. Especially certain Americans shaking their thang and saying (in all seriousness) 'Lauryn.. If you wan' it, that's ok.' Amazing. Pretty good night!!

Saturday afternoon, Erin took as to a Lebanese place to eat which was the lushest thing of my life, until the hangover kicked in. It came in horrendous waves and I was still quite drunk, in all honesty. I laughed at a soggy bisuit on my lap in a café for a good minute or so and sang to a guard in a pharmacie when picking up Neurofen.

Saturday night.. Well... Won't really go into it, but let's just say people are hating violently on Anglophones, here :s although in the middle of it when no fights and arguments were occurring (for all of, what, FIVE MINUTES?), all I could here from outside was 'On y va, des anglais!'. Bants. Some of them literally can't stand us! :s

Monday (yestderday) at work was alright, apart from the fact that I'm doing 'holidays' with my pupils this week, les pauvres. So we're basically all bored shitless haha but they're learning shit so all is well. Buttt this teacher scared me so much yeah he rocks up to me at lunch and started with 'Laurriiiiiiine...', putting a hand on my shoulder. I thought he was gonna apologise for the fact that three classes STILL don't know they have lessons with me on various days because he's seemingly refusing to tell them, but he was like 'you have pupils waiting for you'. I was like... SHITTT then was like whaaaaa? Got so confused. I had 4 lessons yesterday, I'd already taught 3 of them by 1pm and knew I had one more at 3pm. That equals 4. Where had this extra hour come from?? He was giving me daggers all lunch because the other teachers wouldn't let me go sort it out. They got all dramatic like 'but, Laurriiiiiiiiiinnne, you have to eat! It's fine! They'll be fine! Don't starve yourself!' Yeah, alright, calm down. Didn't eat cos I was so confused and nervous. Turns out it was their timetable that was wrong and it wasn't me being an awful human being and forgetting about my pupils! However, even after this had been established, this dude was still being rude to me! Cheeky minx...

Today has been pretty boring, as well! And it's been ONE OF THOSE DAYS where I just can't speak French. Or English, for that matter. The lovely German assistant asked me things in the car like 'do you like this music?', 'which languages did you study at school?' and 'what time do you finish today?' Literally couldn't process a worrrrrrrrd she said haha embarrassing times. So tired! Grassssssee matinée, demain.

Had ONE lesson this morning with the most boring pupils in the world, but their English was mint so that made up for it. Had no lessons after 10am as both BTS years are on stage this week. Ventured down the mountain for lunch with Erin at the bottom of town, which was naaaize. Spent lunch talking about Lobbiers and laughing about our foul-mouthed secondes. I have this legendary ginger bird in one of my seconde classes who, every five minutes I swear, is like, 'Aahhhh pUtaaaiiiinnnnnnnn. *Realises Lauryn is still sat in front of her* MERDE désoléeeeee Madammme!!' Five minutes later... Haha. Should probably tell her to stop, but she makes me laugh every time! :) The only bad thing about lunch was that I then had to mission it back up the mountain in the shitting rain to get back to the station. My bro called me whilst I was tackling a particularly bastad hill, but unfortunately talking was not do-able at that time in my life, so I guess I'll talk to him later!

Anyway, apparently I live in the Arctic now, so I'm off to buy some warmth!!

Love love love xx

So many blogs aaahhhh!!

I'm aware that I literally posted something on Monday or something (it's now Thursday), but the ANNOYING thing is that there is always a train from Thiers back to Clermont on the hour I finish work each day which I miss, and I have to wait 1 hour and 40 minutes for the next one. Always. Screw yooouuu, France! So I literally end up doing UNI WORK thrice a week. What. A. Joke.

Here's a funny story for ya:

So, this has been my week of accidents and injuries, which has been a long time coming, in my opinion. I seriously need to take out some form of medical insurance before the snow comes further down the mountains to Clermont or I am actually fucked. Those of you who know me well will know that I cannot go more than a month without obtaining at least a wee battle scar - for example, I still have a scar on my hand from cutting a potato in the dark whilst completely off it a couple of years back. Basically, last Saturday we ended up in a club that I don't particularly like where a barman plays shit music off his shit laptop through some shit speakers and the whole thing just makes me a bit sad inside, tbh. Anyway, there was broken glass everywhere (stupid, scabby RatPack) and Lauryn was wearing ballet pumps. So were a lot of the girls, but obviously I'm the one who's foot starts haemorraging really dramatically in a really weird place. Anyway, it obviously looked a lot worse than it was, but it did look a bit extreme! One side of my shoe was soaked in blood it was actually so grim. So I got sent home by my friends like a child to sort it out :(

You'll like this bit :) before I begin, let us please bare in mind that, although I, too, find this hilarious now, I was NOT happy at the time... Tuesday morning, I'm up at 6.30am which honestly feels like a lie-in these days. It's still pisssiiinnggg it down with rain at this point, so much so that I lose my bag strap on the way to the station. (Yes. You read that correctly. I actually lost an entire bagstrap to the torrential downpours and have been walking round like a total briefcase wanker ever since.) I need to be in school by 9am and the SNCF website informs me that there is a train from Clermont-Ferrand at 8.05 which will get to Thiers at around 8.50. Parfait, non? Anyshits, I rock up to the station at 7.50ish, believing myself to actually be sehr early. Lies. Bloody website and its huge web of LIES! So this absolute twaaaaattttt is at the ticket desk and when I ask for a ticket to Thiers, he's like 'aahhh yeeaahhh you've just missed it'. I was like 'QUOI?????!!!!!!!!!' Then, right, he takes his sweeeeeeet time printing the ticket for the train I've just missed? Odd. I point this out and he casually leans back and says (AFTER TAKING SO LONG!!) 'Oh, actually, it's still there, that train. You have one minute. Bye!'. C**t. Do excuse my language, but that particular word somehow immediately sprang to mind. I gave him THE filthiest look. Sorry, but you know when you KNOW that someone's done something deliberately and you're just like... Why? Why??? So, I decided to run for it. Actually sprinted out the door. Kind of. Basically, I like to think that I was just SO QUICK that the door did not sense my presence, but clearly French automatic doors are just retarded. It started to close AS I was running through it. Really want to use that word again. Ok, so I literally went BANG into the door and absolutely FLEW off it, leaving the whole glass wall thing shaking and reverberating. When I say that the station was busy at that time that morning, I mean it was PACKED with French teenagers. Don't worry, they didn't hold back with the laughing. I swear some of them actually couldn't breathe. They were roaring with laughter. You know people sometimes have nightmares of being in a crowded public place and having everyone laugh at them? I've never had that before, but it happened : motherfucker. But, being the absolute TROOPER that I am (sure), I kept going, struggling through the crowd with my stupid briefcase bag thing and pegged it back up the steps to my platform. As I emerged onto the platform with my broken bag, broken shoulder and broken dreams, I watched my train disappearing, along with my dignity, into the misty distance... Jesus Mother of ohmylife I was so pissed. I had to take 15 whole minutes to have a cigarette and calm myself down before I trusted myself to go back to twatface and ask to change my ticket without slapping him silly.

But it was quite funny, though :p

What else... Oh yeah, standardly quite embarrassed to be British in France right now after the football last night. Christ's sake, why are we so crap at everything?! Kind of over it, didn't get as much stick at work today as I thought I would! Although my wee bro gave me a tip on the phone last night - when we're losing, whack out the 'actually, my family's Irish so I'm not reeeaaally that English' card, and when we're winning, casually wave around the proud Londoner card. Cool.

Also, today we had a wee partay in the staffroom at lunch for le beaujolais, which is a type of red wine (and very nice, indeed!). I asked quite a few people, to be fair, but, at the end of the day, no one actually knows what's so great about this particular wine or why they celebrate it, at all. Would love to be able to tell you something nice and cultural but I get the impression it's pretty much just an excuse for a party/maybe for some independant local shops and stuff to close early or just not open because the wine said so. On continuera la fête ce soir chez ma copine français :) woop!

Much lovin'

By special request of Marge...

I'm officially updating this shit!!

I have definitely settled into 'working' life at the lycée. I hesitate to call it working life as I still haven't taught a full day of lessons yet, let alone a full week! Complaining, much? Nope :) I have time to sit and cry over / do my other work slash talk to some nice people in French whilst I would otherwise be discussing snakes in bottles and other bollocks with young Thiernois. I loosened up at lunch today and had a couple of glasses of red which I'm kind of regretting right now, but it's ok as I practically have YEARS until my next lesson!

I did stereotypes with a couple of classes this morning as I was feeling really creative when lesson planning this weekend (naaaaaat). Turns out that us British peeps are very polite and always on time. The men all wear black suits and 'melon hats' (bowler hats, bless their little hearts) and have thin moustaches. All British women have curly hair - FACT. Oh and English people hate Irish people and cannot cook for shit. This cooking bit may be ever so slightly true, although I do like to think that I am an epic vegetarian exception to this assumption.

Yesterday, a few of us went to see a couple of mates play a football match somewhere in Clermont against some other team. Was a bit hilarious. Our two mates who were playing were good, don't get me wrong, but the rest of the show... Tragic. Absolutely tragic. Couldn't even tell you the name of the team and neither could those who were actually playing. It was an 'experience'. Another stereotype cum massive truth: England = football's best nation. Auvergne, mmmmmm, not so much. Haha by the by who else really really very very muchly much appreciated Sunderland's efforts yesterday (Sunday 14th)? :) Highlight of my entire WEEK.

Only 5 weeks until Christmas! (Btw a war plane just flew really low over my school, they keep doing that). Anyway, word on the street is that a certain Becca Francis has literally got a job on a Christmas Tree Farm. C'est quoi ce bordel? I am expecting great things from Alderney Road, come December! Very excited. Bit nervous about the inevitable alcohol intake, tbh. Takes quite a lot for me to get nervous about alcoholic measurements, but it's happening :s I feel like Christmas with the bessies will be more of a punishment for having been away for so long, rather than a 'welcome back' thing haha!

Nothing much else to report. Have gained hideous amounts of weight. I am hideous. Don't look at me. Ever. Although it'll be gone in a month, I swear! French people are still being French. Yesterday I saw a LEAST three people mincing around with giant baguettes. Old men do wear baguettes and practically make out with each other when they say 'bonjour'. Uhhhhh, people in Thiers are still weird and won't ever look you in the eye, but it's ok I don't have to deal with these people too much! It's been pissing it down with rain today, but I hear it was worse in Paris over the weekend and we had a really pleasant Saturday, so nerrr :p

That's probably it. Will write to you all when things of various natures being to occur once more.

Happy 19th birthday to my wee bro for tomorrow, and happy 21st to my mammy for the day after!!

Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeebe x