1 more sleep :)

Soooo I'm going home to England for two and a half weeks tomorrow :D yesssssss!! Here is a reflective blog entry for you concerning my time here so far...

Living in Thiers:
Living in Thiers was horrendous. I lived there from 29th September-1st November and it made me ever so sad. The countryside displeases me, as it is; but having to LIVE in the countryside up a MOUNTAIN surrounded by EVERGREENS and LIZARDS was just taking things too far, France, TOO FAR. There is nothing there (not even that many people) and there are cutlery shops, only. And that is the end of my reflection on Thiers.

Living in Clermont-Ferrand:
Clermont is like a bloody PALACE compared to Thiers, for obvious reasons. It is a 'city' (well, town), which is something! Although it is still surrounded on ALL SIDES by mountains and VOLCANOES and grassy hills which literally make me feel really trapped ahhhh, I live right in the 'city centre' (town centre) where there are buildings and people. This provides some comfort. The streets are covered in dog shit and most things are usually shut, but I suppose the same can probably be said for the rest of France, and the streets are quite cute so that makes up for the faeces a little bit. Place de Jaude (I live like a 5 min walk from here) looks genius now it's Christmas. Here's a cheeky photo (you have to imagine it covered in snow!):



Teaching:
Teaching has, on the whole, been quite enjoyable. I am very, very, very lucky to have been placed in a school with mainly bright students who generally have positive attitudes towards their work and towards my lessons. Of course, like everyone, we had a few teething problems at first, but I made sure that it was firmly established what I would and wouldn't put up with from them this year during the first few lessons and I've had next to no problems at all, since (touch wood this remains the case after Christmas!). It is, inevitably, still bizarre (for everyone!) being a teacher in a high-school environment to some pupils who are up to 3 years my senior. One guy in my BTS second year class, 23 years old, made it very clear in the one lesson I've had with them (they're on work experience until Jan) that he does not appreciate the fact that I'm still only 20 lol. Luckily for me, I didn't have to do anything cos the other guys kept telling him to shut up (in English) on my behalf :) excellent. Also, speaking of BTS pupils, here is one of the many reasons I love my first years/one for the assistants:

- 'Who has finished? Anyone?'
# 'Non... Ouais... Presque....... Ahouais, j'ai fini!'
- 'Alright, go on.'
*Silence*
- 'Qu'est-ce que tu fais?'
# 'Ah, c'est errrrrr, c'est juste un p'tit dessin de Noël. Je l'ai fait pour vous, Madame' (This guy is 21).
- 'Ok, merci. Et ton présentation?'
# 'Errr...'

The People:
My friends here are genius. I have a nice mix of English and French speaking friends who are all lovely. Sadly, since I've been here, it's been pointed out that I don't seem to like Spanish people very much hahaha constantly getting called up on that one. This is not the case, and I promise I'm not a massive racist against Spanish people.... It's just that the ones I know here are SOOOOOO BORING. And they complain CONSTANTLY about EVERYTHING despite claims of contentment. Literally like 'oh, I saw this and it was shit. I went there and it was shit. I hate these hours, I hate this, I hate that, this is getting on my nerves, that's annoying me... Oh, no, I love it here!' Uhhh make up your minds? When they start talking, I literally have to cover my ears. Needless to say, the few Spanish people I know here do piss me off and can be quite rude (one in particular, grrr...) but I'm sure if I went to Spain and met some more Spanish people they wouldn't all be like that!!! (I hope). Also, the Auvergnats are weeeiirrdd and the Thiernois are even weeeiirrdderr. I mean the general public. A lot of people are quite uptight and unfriendly, tbh, and no one looks you in the eye... Quite disconcerting! Also, it would seem that quite a lot of them don't like British or American people, as we've unfortunately come to discover on a few occasions! While I'm describing people here, I feel it's only fair to mention the beautiful specimens that live in my residence. Words cannot actually describe how perfect most of the guys look in there. I know I'm an actual pervert and I blame Kaly entirely for that, but seriously I have never seen so many beautiful, beautiful, beautiful (usually pretty naked) boys at once in such a confined area haha. It always cheers me up after work when they say hi! I guess that's one good thing about the Auvergne, there are fitties bloody everywhere! Now that is something I will miss in London (no offense, guys :p).

The Good Times:
There have been some hilarrrrrious days and nights, here. None that I remember in any great detail as we do all drink a lot to get through this haha, but I know there have been a few. For example, every night that my favourite American Matthew Perry aka Pez has come out with us, because everytime he does he is guaranteed to say something that will actually floor me with laughter. He's one of those guys with a very dry sense of humour who doesn't actually mean to be funny half the time, and just comes out with the most random things completely out of the blue. For example, talking about something completely unrelated and he will pop up with 'you two should be lesbians', or 'if you want it, that's ok', or 'I'd pay you to take it off' etc etc. I would like everyone in the world to meet and experience this guy as there is just no describing him in a blog! I also enjoy our Thursdays: I get back to Clermont at half 4ish and we go straight to a cafe next to the university for chats. Later in the evening, we go to our French friend's appartment for a weekly soirée where everyone gets absolutely hammered and the French students sing really badly, fall over and cut each other's hair and then we go out. And Sundays, when everyone's hungover or tired, we go for a cheeky hot chocolate and relfect upon the night's events (always brilliant).

Next Year:
Next year should be better as our surroundings seem much more familiar to us now and we've pretty much sussed out how things and people roll. It will also be better as we're only here for 2 months again before another two week holiday in February, so we won't be away from our friends and family for as long as this term. Speaking for myself, just under three months without seeing my family and friends has been too long. Two would have been ok, and I guess it'll seem quicker next time round, thank God! It's a shame that we couldn't start in January and finish in July, as I can imagine that the Auvergne is quite pretty when the weather's nice. I think a lot of the reason that everyone's so miserable here is that it is actually the grimmest place in the world in the autumn/winter. Grim grim grim. Does snow make it prettier? Nope, it just makes it grimmerrrrr lol and fucking freezing. I'm completely and utterly sure that I have never been this cold in my life! So that's never good, but hopefully by April we'll have at least one month living in a reasonable tclimate!


Anyway, those were my reflections. I'm gonna miss me friends a bit over the holiday as these are people that I literally spend every waking hour with, but.. I'll be honest, I don't think any of us are gonna miss Clermont as a place :p hehehe soooo glad to be coming back!!

See you all very soon! :D

Alright Stace ow's it goin' alright?

Firstly, hello! Been a while.

Secondly, Andrew and Dan if you're reading this then stop literally just stop right there cos it's creeping me out.

Anyway! I poked myself in the eye last night and it looks like I got in a fight. 'Cooool'. Also I was late to school this morning because I dropped my BlackBerry face-down in the river that runs through my room each day from the shower (not cooooooooooool). Basically, I think it's a little bit fecked. The caps button won't turn off and it drained itself of battery out of the blue, during the night. I use my phone for my alarm!!! Mother.. Anyway yeah so woke up at around 7.15 to a pissed off phone call from the teacher who was supposed to be taking me in. Woops. Got in like 2 hours later and my responsable took one look at the state of me and my life and just went 'Mmm.. C'est pas grave'. Sorted.

Just had a lesson with some terminale pupils. If you know what is good for you, you will get onto youtube immediately and search 'what is love le retour'. It's filmed in Thiers and Fayssal is one of my terminale pupils. Now, he is my FAVOURITE pupil haha! Btw we were doing 'music', hence why we were pissing around on youtube instead of doing work.

This Monday, we had a surprise birthday party for our French buddy! She's lovely. However, her birthday definitely isn't until August???? Yup, I'm still confused about that, too. Her best mate's reasoning was that no one's around in August to celebrate it. Could we not do this on a weekend, seeing as EVERYONE has work or uni on Tuesdays? Nope, cos not everyone is around on every weekend before xmas. So, how about after xmas, like, closer to her actually birthday...? Nope, apparently that doesn't work either. So it was up to me and a friend to keep her occupied for a few hours in the evening while her other mates got the appartment ready. Even after a drastic key fuck up (they definitely locked the first of the three doors into her appartment from the inside), after many a 'qu'est-ce qui se passe ce soirrrrr?', many a 'ce soir est bizarre...' and many a 'ok, j'appelle Anne C' -'NON!!', we got inside and stilllll she literally had no idea. It felt very rewarding haha! SHE LOVED IT.

What else... My life, the SNOW! I'm over it now because it's gone, but JESUS CHRIST it was RIDICULOUS. But, as I said, over it.

Anyway, basically same old same old here and I am SO excited to be coming home in 8 days that I think I'm gonna WEE!!! I know I only work in Thiers 3 times a week, but I am sicckk ttoooo deeaattthhhh of bloody trees and streams and mountains and nature and shit. Maybe it's because it's cold as well, so it makes it seem worse. I dunno, I just have a massive, massive problem with the countryside. It's shit in England and it's shitter in France. I know this is terribly closed minded, but I've never been able to see, for the LIFE of me, how anyone can live in places like that! I can't WAIT to get back to marge's cheeky little industrial estate in north Watford and to sunny Bow where I belong!!!

A PLUS! BIBIIIIIIIIIIIS!

Hola

Okay so since last Thursday...

I'm pretty sure it was Thursday night that was the horrendous Erasmus party, so we won't go into that cos it's just boring. Plus my shoulder was still hurting from the unfortunate door incident, so I wasn't it the chirpiest mood ever! My American buddy Erin who lives in Thiers came to stay on Friday night which was beautiful! This is turning into a regular occurrence, which pleases me! We went out very late to that club I don't like but had an epic night and was delighted to discover quite early on in the night that I was in that state of drunkeness that most 14 year-olds experience where everything is absolutely hilarious. Especially certain Americans shaking their thang and saying (in all seriousness) 'Lauryn.. If you wan' it, that's ok.' Amazing. Pretty good night!!

Saturday afternoon, Erin took as to a Lebanese place to eat which was the lushest thing of my life, until the hangover kicked in. It came in horrendous waves and I was still quite drunk, in all honesty. I laughed at a soggy bisuit on my lap in a café for a good minute or so and sang to a guard in a pharmacie when picking up Neurofen.

Saturday night.. Well... Won't really go into it, but let's just say people are hating violently on Anglophones, here :s although in the middle of it when no fights and arguments were occurring (for all of, what, FIVE MINUTES?), all I could here from outside was 'On y va, des anglais!'. Bants. Some of them literally can't stand us! :s

Monday (yestderday) at work was alright, apart from the fact that I'm doing 'holidays' with my pupils this week, les pauvres. So we're basically all bored shitless haha but they're learning shit so all is well. Buttt this teacher scared me so much yeah he rocks up to me at lunch and started with 'Laurriiiiiiine...', putting a hand on my shoulder. I thought he was gonna apologise for the fact that three classes STILL don't know they have lessons with me on various days because he's seemingly refusing to tell them, but he was like 'you have pupils waiting for you'. I was like... SHITTT then was like whaaaaa? Got so confused. I had 4 lessons yesterday, I'd already taught 3 of them by 1pm and knew I had one more at 3pm. That equals 4. Where had this extra hour come from?? He was giving me daggers all lunch because the other teachers wouldn't let me go sort it out. They got all dramatic like 'but, Laurriiiiiiiiiinnne, you have to eat! It's fine! They'll be fine! Don't starve yourself!' Yeah, alright, calm down. Didn't eat cos I was so confused and nervous. Turns out it was their timetable that was wrong and it wasn't me being an awful human being and forgetting about my pupils! However, even after this had been established, this dude was still being rude to me! Cheeky minx...

Today has been pretty boring, as well! And it's been ONE OF THOSE DAYS where I just can't speak French. Or English, for that matter. The lovely German assistant asked me things in the car like 'do you like this music?', 'which languages did you study at school?' and 'what time do you finish today?' Literally couldn't process a worrrrrrrrd she said haha embarrassing times. So tired! Grassssssee matinée, demain.

Had ONE lesson this morning with the most boring pupils in the world, but their English was mint so that made up for it. Had no lessons after 10am as both BTS years are on stage this week. Ventured down the mountain for lunch with Erin at the bottom of town, which was naaaize. Spent lunch talking about Lobbiers and laughing about our foul-mouthed secondes. I have this legendary ginger bird in one of my seconde classes who, every five minutes I swear, is like, 'Aahhhh pUtaaaiiiinnnnnnnn. *Realises Lauryn is still sat in front of her* MERDE désoléeeeee Madammme!!' Five minutes later... Haha. Should probably tell her to stop, but she makes me laugh every time! :) The only bad thing about lunch was that I then had to mission it back up the mountain in the shitting rain to get back to the station. My bro called me whilst I was tackling a particularly bastad hill, but unfortunately talking was not do-able at that time in my life, so I guess I'll talk to him later!

Anyway, apparently I live in the Arctic now, so I'm off to buy some warmth!!

Love love love xx

So many blogs aaahhhh!!

I'm aware that I literally posted something on Monday or something (it's now Thursday), but the ANNOYING thing is that there is always a train from Thiers back to Clermont on the hour I finish work each day which I miss, and I have to wait 1 hour and 40 minutes for the next one. Always. Screw yooouuu, France! So I literally end up doing UNI WORK thrice a week. What. A. Joke.

Here's a funny story for ya:

So, this has been my week of accidents and injuries, which has been a long time coming, in my opinion. I seriously need to take out some form of medical insurance before the snow comes further down the mountains to Clermont or I am actually fucked. Those of you who know me well will know that I cannot go more than a month without obtaining at least a wee battle scar - for example, I still have a scar on my hand from cutting a potato in the dark whilst completely off it a couple of years back. Basically, last Saturday we ended up in a club that I don't particularly like where a barman plays shit music off his shit laptop through some shit speakers and the whole thing just makes me a bit sad inside, tbh. Anyway, there was broken glass everywhere (stupid, scabby RatPack) and Lauryn was wearing ballet pumps. So were a lot of the girls, but obviously I'm the one who's foot starts haemorraging really dramatically in a really weird place. Anyway, it obviously looked a lot worse than it was, but it did look a bit extreme! One side of my shoe was soaked in blood it was actually so grim. So I got sent home by my friends like a child to sort it out :(

You'll like this bit :) before I begin, let us please bare in mind that, although I, too, find this hilarious now, I was NOT happy at the time... Tuesday morning, I'm up at 6.30am which honestly feels like a lie-in these days. It's still pisssiiinnggg it down with rain at this point, so much so that I lose my bag strap on the way to the station. (Yes. You read that correctly. I actually lost an entire bagstrap to the torrential downpours and have been walking round like a total briefcase wanker ever since.) I need to be in school by 9am and the SNCF website informs me that there is a train from Clermont-Ferrand at 8.05 which will get to Thiers at around 8.50. Parfait, non? Anyshits, I rock up to the station at 7.50ish, believing myself to actually be sehr early. Lies. Bloody website and its huge web of LIES! So this absolute twaaaaattttt is at the ticket desk and when I ask for a ticket to Thiers, he's like 'aahhh yeeaahhh you've just missed it'. I was like 'QUOI?????!!!!!!!!!' Then, right, he takes his sweeeeeeet time printing the ticket for the train I've just missed? Odd. I point this out and he casually leans back and says (AFTER TAKING SO LONG!!) 'Oh, actually, it's still there, that train. You have one minute. Bye!'. C**t. Do excuse my language, but that particular word somehow immediately sprang to mind. I gave him THE filthiest look. Sorry, but you know when you KNOW that someone's done something deliberately and you're just like... Why? Why??? So, I decided to run for it. Actually sprinted out the door. Kind of. Basically, I like to think that I was just SO QUICK that the door did not sense my presence, but clearly French automatic doors are just retarded. It started to close AS I was running through it. Really want to use that word again. Ok, so I literally went BANG into the door and absolutely FLEW off it, leaving the whole glass wall thing shaking and reverberating. When I say that the station was busy at that time that morning, I mean it was PACKED with French teenagers. Don't worry, they didn't hold back with the laughing. I swear some of them actually couldn't breathe. They were roaring with laughter. You know people sometimes have nightmares of being in a crowded public place and having everyone laugh at them? I've never had that before, but it happened : motherfucker. But, being the absolute TROOPER that I am (sure), I kept going, struggling through the crowd with my stupid briefcase bag thing and pegged it back up the steps to my platform. As I emerged onto the platform with my broken bag, broken shoulder and broken dreams, I watched my train disappearing, along with my dignity, into the misty distance... Jesus Mother of ohmylife I was so pissed. I had to take 15 whole minutes to have a cigarette and calm myself down before I trusted myself to go back to twatface and ask to change my ticket without slapping him silly.

But it was quite funny, though :p

What else... Oh yeah, standardly quite embarrassed to be British in France right now after the football last night. Christ's sake, why are we so crap at everything?! Kind of over it, didn't get as much stick at work today as I thought I would! Although my wee bro gave me a tip on the phone last night - when we're losing, whack out the 'actually, my family's Irish so I'm not reeeaaally that English' card, and when we're winning, casually wave around the proud Londoner card. Cool.

Also, today we had a wee partay in the staffroom at lunch for le beaujolais, which is a type of red wine (and very nice, indeed!). I asked quite a few people, to be fair, but, at the end of the day, no one actually knows what's so great about this particular wine or why they celebrate it, at all. Would love to be able to tell you something nice and cultural but I get the impression it's pretty much just an excuse for a party/maybe for some independant local shops and stuff to close early or just not open because the wine said so. On continuera la fête ce soir chez ma copine français :) woop!

Much lovin'

By special request of Marge...

I'm officially updating this shit!!

I have definitely settled into 'working' life at the lycée. I hesitate to call it working life as I still haven't taught a full day of lessons yet, let alone a full week! Complaining, much? Nope :) I have time to sit and cry over / do my other work slash talk to some nice people in French whilst I would otherwise be discussing snakes in bottles and other bollocks with young Thiernois. I loosened up at lunch today and had a couple of glasses of red which I'm kind of regretting right now, but it's ok as I practically have YEARS until my next lesson!

I did stereotypes with a couple of classes this morning as I was feeling really creative when lesson planning this weekend (naaaaaat). Turns out that us British peeps are very polite and always on time. The men all wear black suits and 'melon hats' (bowler hats, bless their little hearts) and have thin moustaches. All British women have curly hair - FACT. Oh and English people hate Irish people and cannot cook for shit. This cooking bit may be ever so slightly true, although I do like to think that I am an epic vegetarian exception to this assumption.

Yesterday, a few of us went to see a couple of mates play a football match somewhere in Clermont against some other team. Was a bit hilarious. Our two mates who were playing were good, don't get me wrong, but the rest of the show... Tragic. Absolutely tragic. Couldn't even tell you the name of the team and neither could those who were actually playing. It was an 'experience'. Another stereotype cum massive truth: England = football's best nation. Auvergne, mmmmmm, not so much. Haha by the by who else really really very very muchly much appreciated Sunderland's efforts yesterday (Sunday 14th)? :) Highlight of my entire WEEK.

Only 5 weeks until Christmas! (Btw a war plane just flew really low over my school, they keep doing that). Anyway, word on the street is that a certain Becca Francis has literally got a job on a Christmas Tree Farm. C'est quoi ce bordel? I am expecting great things from Alderney Road, come December! Very excited. Bit nervous about the inevitable alcohol intake, tbh. Takes quite a lot for me to get nervous about alcoholic measurements, but it's happening :s I feel like Christmas with the bessies will be more of a punishment for having been away for so long, rather than a 'welcome back' thing haha!

Nothing much else to report. Have gained hideous amounts of weight. I am hideous. Don't look at me. Ever. Although it'll be gone in a month, I swear! French people are still being French. Yesterday I saw a LEAST three people mincing around with giant baguettes. Old men do wear baguettes and practically make out with each other when they say 'bonjour'. Uhhhhh, people in Thiers are still weird and won't ever look you in the eye, but it's ok I don't have to deal with these people too much! It's been pissing it down with rain today, but I hear it was worse in Paris over the weekend and we had a really pleasant Saturday, so nerrr :p

That's probably it. Will write to you all when things of various natures being to occur once more.

Happy 19th birthday to my wee bro for tomorrow, and happy 21st to my mammy for the day after!!

Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeebe x

Also... (04/11/10 part II)

I forgot to add something that I learnt today.

In America and England, little ones knock on doors and say 'trick-or-treeeaaattt?' - which is annoying as shit, obviously, but harmless. In France yeah les p'tits say 'la vie ou des bonbons?' (lit. 'life or sweets?')... sooo basically, 'give me sweets or I will kill you'. Whaaatttt thhheee ffuuccckkkk maaannn? Have to say, that did send a chill down my spine, and I'm now glad that I didn't choose primary education here. Weirdos.

I'm not sure how many more 'catchy' titles I can think up for these entries, tbh!

HI GUYS!

Had my first REAL day today. I say that, but I still only had 2 lessons. How tragic is this, right, although I did manage to get a cheeky lift in to school with another English teacher so only had to leave at 7 qui c'est pas trop grave, got in at like half 7 and none of my pupils turned up to my first lesson at 8 as SOMEONE had neglected to tell them about it. Dayum. I did cry a bit inside but I had had 4 espressos before my next lesson at 11, which prevented me from outwardly crying.

Got some bon feedback from the lessons, had a group who were terminales (final year before BTS or uni, like A2) and premières who were a bit chatty but blatently my teacher voice and my teacher look, which had both already been perfected through my normal job, sorted them out.

Getting along really well with my résponsable now, which is a relief. She offered me cuttlery, which was nice. Working in Thiers and not living there makes me like it the tichiest bit more haha. It's bloody FREEZING compared to Clermont (mountain, yeh get meh?). The lycée feels, to me, like a proper working environment now, maybe cos I'm not constantly hating on it cos I know that, at the end of the day, I can hop on a train or bus if they decide to run back to my sexy studio in the 'city' where people live.

I think my French is getting a bit better now. Sorted. Also, have been invited to a cheeky student party ce soir! French students, uhuh. Tomorrow I may or may not have to go on a 'date' with some random taxi driver who saved my life on Toussaints which is a bit annoying but hey ho. Long story, would only happen to me etc you get the picture. Anyway, I will probably just bring friends along too haha he.will.love it.

Anyway, as you can probably tell, I am feeling 10x better about this whole France debacle now that I am with people. I have nothing but love for them, even if they are French, American and occasionally have phobias of toilets. Baa.. c'est la vie.

Ti amo tutti! Arrivederci! xxxxx

Des choses sont looking up!

Hey guys,

I've found a studio in Clermont! It will be impossible to get to work and I will have zero monies until Feb when CAF comes through, but it'll be so worth it!!!

This week has been Toussaints holiday in France, so we've not been at school or anything. I've been staying with very helpful friends in the city pretty much all week, sorting my life out in the few precious hours that have been spent sober.

Have had a cracking week here and great halloween! Last night we had a proper random ERASMUS party, you know what I'm saying. A couple of Frenchies came to join the pre-drinking, then somebody else acquired around 10 Italian erasmus students on their way, so they joined in too. Some of them were a little bit hilarious and I learnt a lot... Like, if you are convinced that an Italian man is gay because of the way he dresses, the way he dances and the way he does his hair, this does not necessarily make him gay. It makes him very, very Sicilian, apparently!

I feel like... We're going to a spa on Tuesday with the French rugby guys. This pleases me a lot. Life has become so random here. Luckily I'm literally only scheduled to work 10 hour weeks (mate as IF? I work 10 hour DAYS in Westminster!!!), so I can afford to live like this! Is a bit weird though, kinda craving some solid surroundings and a vague routine.

Btw if this isn't making sense it's because I'm literally still drunk from this week. Drunk inside, would quite like to sleep for a few days but it's MOVING DAY tomorrow and I have done nooooo lesson planning this week. Good idea.

There have blatently been a lot of funny things that have been said and done this week, but I can't actually remember anything atm. Think my hangover's creeping in. Hmm. But never fear! For I will have the freakin' internet and everything in my studio so when I remember I will tell you all :) trust it has been funny. STILL missing home horrendous amounts though and wondering when this will stop??

Much love xxxxxx

We're going through chaangees /

Christ alMIGHty, I've had a BIT of a week over here! I will try to explain as quickly and as simply as possible...

Monday: Literally on the verge of resigning. Not because I don't like teaching/the pupils/the school in general, but because I absolutely cannot deal with the isolation of Thiers anymore and really, honestly believe that I may as well be in England for all the experience I'm gaining and, most importantly, for all the 'language skills' I am acquiring here. Feel like shit and can't stop crying!

Tuesday: Speak to British Council dude on the phone again (after telling him the first time that I'm sure everything will resolve itself etc), break down on the phone (sehr embarrassing) when he tells me that the French national agency would never move an assistant once they've been placed. Am strongly advised to arrange a meeting with the headmaster and, in the meantime, email the personnes relais for my area to let him know what's going on. It takes over an hour for me to pull myself together, then I creep into the staffroom to do just that and also email QM's YA co-ordinator to let her know what's happening.

Wednesday: Recieve emails from the personnes relais and the inspector urging me not to leave, that things can be resolved etc and that they've immediately emailed the headmaster and my résponsable (who, at that point, still didn't give one) to say that I would be meeting with him. Have the meeting and I loovvee hhiiimm. He's all like 'Oh Jesus Christ I had no idea, come to my house tonight and me and my wife will look after you because you're so lonely!' I politely decline his offer, but he asks me to come to his house at weekends when I can so his wife can feed me and show me things. Aww. He explains that he really wants to help because his son and daughter went to England/Sweden for 7 months and had people helping them. Literally want him to be my papa.

Thursday: I have another meeting with the head and the Spanish assistant who agrees to help me find an appartment/foyer in Clermont-Ferrand over the holiday. See my résponsable at lunch and she is being nasty like I've never before experienced. Actually want to deck the.. Anyway, afterwards, she reluctantly asks if I would like to watch a lesson (aka can I come and teach 3 consecutive lessons while she kicks back). I agree, and the strangest thing happens. By the 3rd lesson I teach, she's proper getting involved and being really polite to me in front of the pupils (there's a first time for everything). When they're finished and we're walking back to the staffroom, she does a COMPLETE 180 and gives me her number and email address, says not to hesitate to call her over the holiday if I have ANY problems etc. Result. I think she likes me now because she's seen that all the pupils do what I say and speak loads of English. Win.

Friday (today): Finally recieve my timetable and am told that my résponsable has actually said to people that she'll help me find a teacher to get a lift in with from Clermont on Mondays and Thursdays as I start at 8am. See her at lunch and she pulls out a chair for me, goes out of her way to include me in every last detail of French conversation, making sure I understand, asking me questions and not being sarcastic etc. In fact, we're being downright civilised to each other! She even cracks some private class jokes that only we will understand! Afterwards, I go to the common-room type thing with her, another teacher and the I.T. guy, Pierre (standard), who loves Canada and took a liking to me when I got here, which was nice.


So, all in all, one of the weirdest weeks of my life. Not to mention, definitely up there in the top 5 most humiliating, however hopefully after the holiday I will have something to show for it!! Tomorrow night am out on the lash with the CLF assistants for the 2nd time since I've been here (not on, got a lot of making up to do. Sorry, liver...). They have been very, very clever and found a French anglophone rugby player. ON Y VA!???!!!

Danke for reading, will update the life/living situation soon! xx

Un embarras de l'habillement correct :s

I'll be honest, things aren't getting a lot better here. I can't even get settled into a routine of any kind to keep myself busy as my timetable now will not be ready until after the holiday (November) which is just ridiculous. Over the holiday, I will be on my own in this shitty, freezing cold room with sod all to do and not a lot of places to go or people to see for 12 days. Yay.

Started to get pretty down again at the end of last week through til Saturday for lack of human contact :s something I've learned about myself here is that I don't do well on my own. That's not to say that I'm particularly dependent on anyone for anything material, I just don't think I function properly without having other people around me most of the time.

Howevs, did go on a cheeky 10km hike yesterday (Sunday) becaue it was something to do. Did use my last 4euros in the world on it, so now I am fucked, but it got me out and talking French for a few hours! I went with the American assistant in Thiers, the Spanish assistant at my lycée (sadly she still sounds completely Spanish to me when she speaks French) and a french girl that they know from their foyer, who was lovely and has a car (score).

Bit embarrassing when I got there. Ever the ignorant Londoner, I rocked up in jeans, a hoody and some plimsoles. Suuuure. When I say 'hike', I don't mean 'walk', I mean HIKE hike. While it was only 10km, it was a proper mountain hike, so I felt like even more of a douche after I'd done it. These women fussed and raised their voices and hit me on the arm as I stood in the starting centre utterly bemused whilst one of them actually drove to her house and back to bring me a selection of proper shoes and a waterproof jacket. Needless to say, they were not impressed. Anyway, it was freezing cold and mon cul is hurting today, but it was sehr good and some nice people in a barn in a field gave me coffee and brie half way through, which is always appreciated.

Talking of the cold, maaatteeee!! It's cold here to the point where you're like 'Whoa there, France. Calm yo'self'. The heating is apparently on in the staffroom, but I am wearing a vest top that I'm ashamed to say I am actually using as a vest, a long-sleeved top, a cardigan, a hoody, jeans, uggs, my duffell coat and a hat. The gloves are off so I can type and I'm not happy about it!

So, I've been here for 3 weeks now and am noticing no change in my spoken French which, considering no one here speaks English, is a bit of an achievement. There's been a noticeable improvement in my ability to understand what people are saying, though, which is brilliant as aural has always been the thing that I fail in life at the most. Hopefully, when I'm back in England, if I just keep watching and listening to French stuff regularly, I won't lose that. Now, my spoken French. I have a sneaking suspition that it might actually have gotten worse for my being in the country. 'How the fuck did you manage that?' You may ask. Well, you know all those times I've mentioned how miserable, lonely and isolated I am up here? Not exaggerating. In fact, I think I've been making a lot of it out to be better than it is as I'm usually in an alright mood when I write me bloggy. But I see so little of people (French or English/American) that I think I might be forgetting how to socialise. Yesterday was alright, but I'm actually petrified of talking to the other teachers in French, especially my résponsable, which isn't good. If I ever get paid (they're really pissy about paying assistants, here), hopefully I'll be able to move into the foyer in Thiers where there are people. You'll be overjoyed to know that moving to the city is almost no longer an option for me as my absolutel angel of a résponsable is giving me at least 2/3 8am starts. Bon.

Uggghhhhh enough ranting, Marge is posting me 5 dvds for the holiday of shitness so that I'll have something to watch for 5 of those 12 days. She's sending 'Mamma Mia' ('in case you wanted a bit of a sing-a-long, I don't know' - LOVE HER LIFE!!) and 'Troy', because it's long. Clever, clever mammy.

Anyway, 60 days til I'm back from the japside of the earth for 2 whole weeks eyyyy :)
Love to all, hope my other French homies are staying strong haha. xxx

Your mum's a restaurant

So, this weekend was literally the funniest thing to happen to me in a while! Have met an absolutely cracking bunch of assistants in Clermont-Ferrand and, work aside, this year's pretty much looking like Freshers all over again! This pleases me greatly :)

Bit pissed that Clermont whipped Saracens on Saturday, as they are ma home boiz and I was rather hoping that they would REPRESENT but no. Have been keeping the fact that I'm originally from Watford on the d.l. in the staffroom...

Apart from that, shit's good. Still no internet, so I'm missing Eastenders, X Factor, 90210, Glee, The Vampire Diaries and other American crap that I enjoy watching on a daily basis. I try not to think about this too much as it really, genuinely upsets me that I don't know if Mary got through, what's happening to Naomi after her rape and overdose OR what's going down in Mystic Falls :'(.

Had my first lesson today! Bit awkward, had the first year of BTS who are aged 18-20 aka Lauryn's age. Literally don't know what to do with them lol. Btw tip for any female assistants teaching BTS - put on a bit of make-up and smile and the boys eat out of the palm of your hand. True story. The girls, naaattt so much, but I find that they tend to be better at English anyway so it's all gravy. I will also be teaching BTS year 2 (some of whom are nearly two years older than me!) but they have an oral exam at the end of that year so I'll just be going over the exam every week with them! If anyone's got any ideas about what to do with year 1 BTS I would be ever so grateful! The other years will be fine as they have a very simple, set curriculum. So we can talk about clothes, SOCIETY (deep), sport, leisure, GOVERNMENT (deep) and other really standard things.

My résponable has been really nice and given me two 8am starts after I asked her if she could please not do that as I am moving to Clermont at the earliest opportunity. So that was really nice of her. But on the plus side, I have Wednesdays and Fridays off woo!

Anyshits, am still missing everyone and cannae wait til my two whole weeks in Angleterre at Christmas!
Liebe liebe liebe xxxxx

Thiers!

So, things really have picked up since Wednesday - I have friends! Things were pretty miserable before and I honestly didn't see a single human being last weekend; but I was very relieved to discover that I wasn't getting upset over nothing and my feelings towards this place were normal!

At the assistant training day, one Engligh teacher from another lycée in the city repeatedly said 'you must be so depressed in Thiers'. And he was being serious which, in a way, was actually quite comforting! The other assistants were horrified when I told them about it (and I'd sugar-coated the details a bit!). I'm going out with them all in Clermont-Ferrand tomorrow night, allegedly to the biggest club in France? Hmm, we'll see about that!

I am using a computer in the staffroom atm, and am disgusted to discover that there's a block on facebook! However, have had a good day! Had bank meeting no.2 this morning and the bank manager and advisor are both the lovliest people! So that helped a lot and I was able to get my RIBs straight away to give to la vie scolaire (who were getting quite angry! Not my fault the bank's so small and never open therefore very busy!!).

I also really saw Thiers for the first time today and I have to say, despite myself, that it really is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. Idyllic, but not ideal :p yeh get meh. I have befriended a lovely American post-grad who is assisting at the collège behind my lycée and at a lycée professionelle. Her résponsable has done everything for her that mine hasn't and the staff at the Foyer she stays at have also been very helpful, so she was able to show me everything she's learned/seen/been to, today! I've found a laundrette!

The town centre's hilarious, Thiers is the CAPITAL of CUTLERY, don'tcha know? Every other shop is a cutlery shop (no word of a lie) and there is even a CUTLERY MUSEUM down CUTLERY ROAD. There is also a mechanical-looking clock in the centre ville which has water running from underneath it and every hour on the hour, a metal dude pops up and starts banging a knife and fork on the clock and these weird factory noises are played. If I worked in the café opposite I would have smashed the twat by now, but as long as you only see it once it is hilarious. And trippy. When it started, everyone walking past stopped, put down their bags  and turned to face the clock and watched in silence until it had finished. I was actually pissing myself laughing but kind of in a nervous way. I felt like I was in George Orwell's 'Nineteen Eighty-Four', for some reason!

After that, we discovered a cheeky Spar (same thing in England) that also sold clothes and seafood. SURE! Then we found the medieval bit of Thiers. It really doesn't seem real down there! Hidden in the mountains are buildings that have been around for bare time and still have all their original features, inside and out. And people still live there! It's incredible to see these houses from the nothing century that look like they belong in a period drama or a recreation in a museum/historical attraction with modern numbers fixed to them and a few washing lines here and there! My new church where I will be attending mass on Sundays was built in 575 and restored in 1107 and hasn't been touched since! It's actually amazing.

Blatently I cannot live in such a place so will hopefully be moving to the city asap, but I feel kinda privileged to be working in such a place and can't wait to show Emma and Marge around when they visit before Christmas!

STILL haven't got my timetable and I can't see that happening until late next week, but I'll update me bloggy to let you all know how it goes being a teacher to people who are actually a year or two older than me :s

More mountain lovin' xxx

Up my mountain

I now, officially, lead a lonely, mountain life :s
I have managed to find an internet cafe in the city, but nothing else!

In my room at the lycée, I don't have a kitchen, a washing machine or drinking water. The nearest supermarket is a 45 minute bus ride away and, as you can imagine, there are next to no buses. Not ideal.
No one is here at weekends so I live with lizards and don't have the internet or anyone to talk to, so I'm getting lots of language practice (not).

My résponsable doesn't really know what to do with me. They told me I don't need to come into school until next Thursday. Great. Literally going mad here for lack of company and so much greenery! Sadly, such a place is not for me.

I did invite myself along to one English class, though. The pupils' homework is to write a mini essay on me, so I literally feel like Jesus now, which is something. Up my mountain, with the lizards, having essays written about me...

This situation really does suck a great amount, but luckily I have a meeting in the city on Wednesday for the English assistants in this region. I am currently living for Wednesday.

Not a lot else to say really, apart from negative stuff I don't wanna waste all my time typing!
Am missing everyone stupid amounts and can't WAIT for the visits to my mountaineous region to commence.

Mountain peace <3

French people :s

Well, the ones here, anyway. Hmm...

Today I did attempt to leave the hotel properly and go exploring in Thiers and hopefully find the school.
Naaaah, sadly not gonna happen. I am in one of those places where a bus comes at some stupid hour in the morning and doesn't come back until the evening and if you miss either of them, you're screwed. Yaaay! So I'm currently having a nutritious lunch of pears and babybels back in my hotel room. Don't ever bother living in France if you're vegetarian, it's just not worth the malnourishment yet inevitable weight-gain from the many types of bread and cheese that are on offer to you!

Contrary to what I've always been told, French people DO NOT like people who don't speak French. They don't 'appreciate the effort' if you try to speak to them in French. They tend to get quite pissed off (how much maybe depends on the sort of day they've been having?) because they can't understand you (me, my accent's currently shockingly bad) and they make this all painfully clear.

Don't get me wrong, some people here have been friendly like the taxi drivers and some girl who came into my room this morning to ask when I was leaving - very encouraging!

The English teacher who is in charge of the assistants each year hasn't replied to my last 2 emails so I'm getting quite worried about that now, too! Sod trying to get a bus, I plan to rock up at the school in a taxi (I think I know which direction it's in now) tomorrow morning at 9 like she suggested a while back and see what's occuring.

Quite confused, cannot WAIT to get out of this area and get to actual Thiers to start work and hopefully move into Lycée accomodation asap.

Haven't even been here for 24 hours but I am missing everyone stupidly already. London FTW.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bienvenue à Thiers :)

HI!

Bare emotional goodbyes at St. Pancras this morning! Hopped on the Eurostar to Paris which was fairly hassle-free :) get to Paris Gare du Nord and need to get a taxi to Paris Gare de Lyon for my connecting train to Clermont-Ferrand.

Some bloke offers me a taxi (key word here being 'taxi') and escorts me to a motorbike??? Oh sure. Never been on one before but decide that the driver is jokes and it could potentially be banter so I hop on in my sexy helmet and size-million jacket. It actually turns out to be complete bants and we have a pretty decent franglais conversation which suits me fine.

Get to Gare de Lyon, am pleased to discover that French people know what real coffee is. Spill it (everywhere) and give some monies to some bloke who allegedly works for a charity pour les handicapés.

Have FINALLY got to my dodgey wee hotel in Thiers! Free wifi which is sweeet but no light in my room? Not as in the light doesn't work, as in... There isn't one?? You win some, you lose some I guess.

Anyway, gonna go in search of food now (literally feel like Che Guevara).

ONE LOVE X